In a move that would make even the devil himself raise an eyebrow, Franklin Templeton-that venerable institution of financial sobriety-has flung open the doors of its crypto ETF to welcome the motley crew of XRP and SOL, alongside other digital misfits. Because, why not?
The ETF Circus Expands Its Freak Show
On the second day of December, in a year that somehow still exists, Franklin Templeton declared-with the solemnity of a drunken town crier-that its Franklin Crypto Index ETF (Cboe: EZPZ, because why make it easy?) had decided to embrace chaos. No longer content with the staid company of bitcoin and ether, the ETF now rolls with the likes of XRP, SOL, DOGE (because memes are serious business), ADA, XLM, and LINK (the token, not the hero of Hyrule).
The announcement, delivered with the gravitas of a man selling snake oil, declared:
Behold! EZPZ now welcomes XRP, solana, dogecoin (yes, really), cardano, stellar lumens, and chainlink into its glittering fold. Rejoice!
David Mann, head of ETF Product and Capital Markets (and presumably a man who has lost sleep over this), explained-with a straight face-that this expansion allows the ETF to “capture a larger segment of the crypto market.” Meanwhile, Roger Bayston, head of Digital Assets (a title that sounds like it was invented yesterday), mused that investors now care about “real-world adoption” and “functional utility.” Ah, yes, because nothing says “utility” like a meme coin in your retirement portfolio. 🎭
This grand proclamation followed an SEC filing so dense it could double as a doorstop. Effective Dec. 1, EZPZ would now juggle bitcoin, ether, XRP, solana, dogecoin (still baffling), cardano, stellar lumens, and chainlink-because diversification is key, or so they say. Critics muttered about “dispersion risk,” while proponents, high on hopium, chirped about “market representation.” Ah, the sweet symphony of financial delusion. 🎻
FAQ 🤡
- What fresh madness has Franklin Templeton unleashed?
The ETF now includes XRP, solana, dogecoin (yes, really), cardano, stellar lumens, and chainlink. Buckle up. - Why, oh why, did they do this?
To “capture more of the crypto market,” they claim, as if herding cats was ever a sound strategy. - When did this descent into chaos begin?
Dec. 1, because nothing says “holiday cheer” like regulatory filings. - How often will this circus rebalance?
Quarterly, because consistency is key-even in madness.
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2025-12-04 04:59