In the infinite expanse of blockchain absurdity, a trader known only as 0xc2a3 has once again defied the laws of financial physics. This enigmatic entity boasts a win rate so immaculate it’s practically a religious experience for on-chain devotees. Rumor has it they’re actually a time-traveling spreadsheet, here to mock mortal portfolio managers.
Hyperliquid? More like Hyper-Bougie
According to sleuths armed with on-chain telescopes and Hyperliquid’s data buffet, our favorite whale has cranked their Ethereum position to 33,270 ETH ($131.24M, because why use small numbers?). This 5x leveraged bet screams “I trust ETH’s future more than I trust my dentist.” But wait-there’s more! They’ve also tossed $8.9M into BTC, because why hedge when you can just double down on digital alchemy?
Ethereum recently pulled a Lazarus act, climbing from $3,750 despair to stubbornly hover above $3,900. The charts suggest a possible $4K breakout, which would make 0xc2a3 either a genius or a very expensive meme. If ETH hits $4,250, their win record will remain as unblemished as a freshly mined block.
Profits So Large They Warp Spacetime
To date, this trader has conjured $15.4M from the void, a number so large it makes their previous $12M haul look like pocket change. Their Bitcoin foresight? A $78M “oh by the way” after buying the dip between $108.7K-$109.1K. We’re pretty sure their wallet is actually a black hole that absorbs other people’s money.
As crypto peasants stare at this galactic-level flex, one question lingers: Is 0xc2a3 a market oracle, or just the universe’s most elaborate April Fools’ joke? 🕵️♂️💸 Stay tuned-this is either a masterclass in dominance or a cosmic warning to quit while you’re still solvent.
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2025-10-24 13:56