Crypto’s July Drama? Oy Vey! 🙄

So, apparently Bitcoin is… near a record. $119,000? Really? And the whole crypto thing is almost at four trillion? Four trillion! What are people doing with all this money? It’s just… sitting there. And now everyone’s suddenly concerned about the *last week of July*? Like, what happened to enjoying summer? ☀️

This Felix Jauvin guy on X – X, of course, because everything needs a letter – he’s saying this week is “setting the stage.” Setting the stage for what? More anxiety? More people talking about ‘market capitalisation’? Honestly. He’s worried about the Fed, Treasury, and Trump’s tariffs all colliding. It’s a mess. A complete mess. And he wants everyone to “stay frosty.” Frosty?! I need a sweater just thinking about it.🥶

July’s Final Days Could Shape Crypto (apparently)

They have a meeting. The Federal Open Market Committee. Sounds ominous. Someone named Waller thinks a rate cut is a good idea because “inflation looks temporary”? Temporary?! Inflation is NEVER temporary! It’s like a bad habit, it just… sticks around. And these ‘prediction markets’ are assigning probabilities to cuts? Probabilities! It’s just guessing dressed up as finance. You know what I predict? A headache.

Then there’s this Treasury Secretary, Bessent. He’s all but *telling* the Fed what to do. Instructing them! Like they’re his subordinates. What happened to independence? And then he goes on Fox News to say the “bond market is sending a signal?” A signal? Like a little flag waving? 🚩 It’s just… ridiculous.

And now they’re talking about borrowing plans and “managing the yield curve.” Honestly, I don’t even know what that *means*. It sounds like something a magician would say. And it’s going to “soak up the cash that cycles into stablecoins and crypto risk?” Who even uses stablecoins? It’s all just… layers of nonsense.

Tariffs Come Back Into Focus (of course they do)

Now the tariffs. Trump’s tariffs. Oh, joy. They’re extending them, launching letters… it’s like a bureaucratic war. Bessent is flying to Stockholm? Stockholm! To talk about tariffs? I need a vacation. A long vacation. And they’re going to court over whether a President can just…impose tariffs? It’s all so arbitrary! 😠

And these real yields – they move inversely to everything. Inversely! Why does everything have to be backwards? It’s like trying to parallel park in Manhattan. It’s stressful! I’m telling you, stressful.

So, the market’s playbook is “Watch the Fed dots, count the bills, read the tariff letters.” Great. Just what I wanted to do with my time. And, again, “stay frosty.” Can we just… not?

The crypto market cap is $3.81 trillion. Fine. Good for them. I’m going to go eat a sandwich. 🥪

2025-07-24 00:05

July’s Final Days Could Shape Crypto (apparently)

Tariffs Come Back Into Focus (of course they do)

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