Extraterrestrial Accounting: Prenetics Dumps Bitcoin for Space Monkeys and Celeb Bucks! 🚀💸

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In October, Prenetics Global Ltd. did the intergalactic equivalent of buying a novelty spaceship by acquiring 100 Bitcoin at a mere $109,594 per coin, which they described as “a disciplined treasury strategy” (if by “disciplined” you mean “panic-clicking during a black friday sale”).

Fast-forward two months, and the Beckham-endorsed health-tech wizards have pivoted harder than a spinning gyroscope at a zero-gravity yoga retreat. 🧠

A press release (aptly titled “We’re Not Crazy, You’re Crazy”) announced they’ll stop buying Bitcoin entirely. Instead, they’ll cling to their 510 BTC like a toddler with a death grip on a glowing space rock. 🙈

The initial purchase was funded by a $44 million equity offering that attracted investors with names like Kraken, Exodus, and Aryna Sabalenka-clearly a who’s who of “I Have a Crypto Wallet and I Know How to Use It.” 💼

CEO Danny Yeung claimed the move aligned with their “dual-engine strategy,” which combines cutting-edge health science with the fiscal prudence of a raccoon hoarding shiny bottle caps. 🦝

Before this plot twist, Prenetics averaged 1 BTC per day-because nothing says “long-term planning” like buying digital gold with Monopoly money. 🎰

Beckham joined the chaos in July 2024, proving once and for all that fame and fortune qualify you to invest in literally anything. 🥳

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2025-12-31 01:55