Gerry Turner’s Golden Bachelor Ex Leslie Fhima Reacts to Tell-All Book

by

Leslie Fhima is following the golden rule when discussing Gerry Turner’s new book. 

Following the release of Gerry Turner’s memoir, The Golden Years, earlier this month, the woman he eliminated before proposing to Theresa Nist shared her reaction to the book.

She confessed on the November 6th episode of the 2 Black Girls, 1 Rose podcast that while she hadn’t read the full book, she had read parts of it, and wasn’t sure if she even wanted to read the whole thing.

However, Gerry had already sent his ex part of the book before it was published. 

Leslie mentioned she’d read the chapter about her in the book. The author had sent it to her for approval quite a while ago, which she appreciated as a sign of respect. She said she wasn’t sure what to think overall, but she noted he didn’t write anything negative about her.

Leslie pointed out that even though Gerry had a lot to talk about from his relationship with Theresa, the ex-couple had already resolved their issues and were on good terms.

She said her biggest wish is for everyone to find happiness and a loving partner. That’s what truly matters to her.

Although another contestant and friend, Theresa, has voiced her concerns about the memoir publicly, Leslie doesn’t intend to contribute to the controversy.

Leslie explained that she’s a friend to Theresa and will always be there for her. She cares about Theresa deeply, but doesn’t want to get involved in any personal issues she might be facing. While she’s happy to offer support, a listening ear, and advice, Leslie doesn’t see it as her place to take sides or become part of the problem.

As she put it, “I kind of want to be a little Switzerland, because it’s not my fight.”

Theresa hasn’t been shy about expressing her regrets regarding her relationship with Gerry, particularly now that he’s sharing his side of the story in his book.

Theresa explained on the November 4th episode of the Dear Shandy podcast that her husband hadn’t done her any favors by marrying someone he didn’t love. She said he should have canceled the wedding, regardless of the fact that it was being filmed for television, because their lives were what truly mattered.

For more of Gerry’s perspective, keep reading for his memoir’s biggest bombshells…

Losing his high school sweetheart, Toni—and the mother of his daughters, Jenny Young and Angie Warner—to a bacterial infection just weeks after they settled into their perfect lakeside home in 2017 was incredibly difficult for Gerry Turner. But it was even more heartbreaking when he later discovered she had been diagnosed with Type 2 diabetes before her death.

He wrote in his 2025 memoir, Golden Years: What I’ve Learned From Love, Loss, and Reality TV, that he was overwhelmed with questions after Toni’s death. He wondered if her diabetes, which wasn’t properly managed, had put too much strain on her body, especially her kidneys. He also questioned if she might have lived longer if she hadn’t dismissed her health concerns as unimportant, and if he had somehow encouraged that attitude. He regretted that she hadn’t felt she could talk to him about something so serious as her diabetes.

Even though leaving their shared home in Indiana was difficult, he put up a picture of his wife of 43 years in his new closet. He explained he wanted to see her smiling face every morning while getting dressed.

He disagreed with a 2023 article in The Hollywood Reporter that detailed his life after retirement, including relationships he hadn’t mentioned on The Golden Bachelor. He claimed he hadn’t dated for over forty years, but admitted in his book, “They did get one thing right: I met her at Toni’s funeral.”

He started dating, and eventually moved in with, a woman he felt a connection with. However, he admits he rushed into the relationship. Even if he’d been emotionally ready, which he wasn’t, he hadn’t been in a relationship since he was 18, and that should have signaled him to slow down. Instead, he did the opposite.

Joan Vassos, who was set to be the Golden Bachelorette, decided to leave the show because her daughter was having a difficult time after giving birth. Gerry was understandably upset by her departure, admitting he was “crushed” and had really seen a future with her. He described it as a very disappointing experience.

Several months after their breakup, she sent him a copy of a beautiful photography book by Annie Leibovitz – one he’d mentioned he liked when they were together.

He admitted he still hoped to be part of her life. When he saw her giving out roses, he felt a mix of emotions. He was glad she seemed happy with how things were going, but also a little saddened, realizing a part of him would always care for her.

Gerry found it particularly difficult to eliminate Ellen Goltzer. Before meeting families, he knew he definitely wanted to keep both Faith Martin and Leslie Fhima. However, the hardest part was choosing between Ellen, a retired teacher, and Theresa Nist, who he would eventually propose to.

He described both potential partners as likable and optimistic, and didn’t see any immediate concerns with either of them. He thought either woman could make a great life partner. Feeling exhausted and pressed for time, he realized it was time for Ellen to move on.

He said he ended things with her because they simply didn’t have a romantic connection. While he wasn’t certain if Theresa was the right person for him, he was even more sure that Ellen wasn’t.

Gerry said he felt purely excited about Leslie, who would eventually finish as the runner-up. However, he occasionally worried that Leslie’s lifestyle was too wild and fast-paced, considering her past relationship with a famous person.

He couldn’t decide whether he preferred Leslie or Theresa, and started to worry that the fitness instructor’s two past divorces suggested they had very different ideas about what commitment meant, which could cause problems for them later on.

Looking back, he realized the issue wasn’t Leslie’s lack of commitment, but rather Gerry’s own insecurity, especially when compared to how devoted Theresa had been to her late husband. He now saw it as a warning sign he hadn’t recognized at the time.

Looking back, I can honestly say he never intended to hurt anyone. It was a tough situation, and he really regrets telling both Leslie and Faith he loved them so early on, especially during those hometown dates. It clearly didn’t have the effect he hoped for, and he wishes he’d handled things differently.

He explained that he truly meant what he’d said to Leslie and Faith. However, looking back, he realized that real love means giving yourself entirely to one person, and he felt he hadn’t done that with either of them. He still feels the weight of that realization today.

After host Jesse Palmer invited them to spend a private night in the fantasy suites, Gerry became certain about his feelings for Theresa. They talked about their future together, including her plans to retire, and Gerry realized he’d found the woman he wanted to spend the rest of his life with, saying, “I knew, based on everything I was learning about Theresa, that she was the one.”

But his decision to offer the final rose to the New Jersey resident was certainly a thorny one. 

In his memoir, he explained that while Theresa initially seemed like the sensible choice, Leslie quickly became a strong possibility when he listened to his heart. He found himself torn between the two, constantly weighing them against each other. He described it as a conflict between what felt secure and comfortable, and something more thrilling but uncertain.

Gerry and Theresa celebrated their engagement in Costa Rica with a special meal delivered to their room. The feast reminded Gerry that Theresa had all the qualities he wanted in a partner – she was cheerful, thoughtful, and kind.

Once they were apart, though, they found it hard to connect. He admitted their nightly conversations were challenging, explaining that she spoke with the same even tone whether discussing serious work issues or something as simple as getting breakfast.

Their secret trip to New York City didn’t immediately spark romance. Gerry quickly discovered Theresa was very health-conscious, requesting only sugar-free groceries, which wasn’t exactly to his liking.

He explained that his meals consisted of just fish and salad. When he asked her what groceries she’d recommend for energy, she told him, ‘I don’t eat anything like that.’

Gerry readily admits he wasn’t familiar with the Kardashians. After the show, he was invited to Kris Jenner’s home for dinner, and surprisingly, he wasn’t nervous. “I didn’t know much about the family at all,” he confessed. In fact, while being driven to dinner, he jokingly suggested to a member of the production team that the Kardashians might be benefiting from their show’s success. The driver, clearly shocked, stared at him in disbelief.

I was there, and I saw him spend a good part of the night talking to Bad Bunny, Kendall Jenner’s boyfriend at the time. He even had a surprisingly normal conversation with Kris about hearing aids! But when Kendall later said he was flirting with her mom, he totally denied it. He said he wasn’t flirting at all, and that he was just caught up in Kris’s amazing energy and found himself drawn into her conversations.

Like the saying goes, every relationship has its challenges, but Gerry’s with Theresa was unusually difficult. A major issue arose when Theresa told him during a private getaway that she was ready to retire, only to later reveal she wanted to work another year to save more money. Gerry felt hurt and distrustful, writing that he realized her financial situation wasn’t what she’d presented on the show, and he began to question her honesty in other areas as well.

He became annoyed by her daily $12 smoothies and her lack of cooking, explaining that she ate out or ordered takeout for most dinners – around four or five nights a week.

He didn’t feel settled in New Jersey, and she disliked the rural life in Indiana (“I just couldn’t live here, it’s too isolated,” she reportedly told him). They planned to move to South Carolina together, but he said she turned down every house he found in the $800,000 to $1.25 million price range, preferring much more expensive properties costing over $4 million.

I was listening to the Dear Shandy podcast from November 4th, 2025, and Theresa was really open about things. She said she wasn’t a fan of any of the houses he picked, but she definitely pushed back on his idea that she tried to go over budget. It was interesting to hear her side of things!

Even though Gerry started having serious doubts about Theresa as their wedding approached (“As it got closer and closer to our wedding date, my doubts about Theresa grew”), they went ahead with the televised ceremony in January 2024.

Gerry, having previously helped couples navigate divorce mediation, strongly believed a prenuptial agreement was essential. He sent the paperwork to Theresa with overnight delivery, but grew anxious as she didn’t return it. When Theresa appeared on the Dear Shandy podcast, she explained the delay was simply because she wasn’t sure which pages needed to be signed, and emphasized that she would never accept any of his money.

While waiting for her signature, Gerry started to fear she was deliberately delaying things, as he wrote in his book. Although she did eventually sign, the stress gave him serious doubts, and he realized they might have rushed into a lifelong commitment without dating long enough.

He knew there was nothing he could do to prevent the wedding, especially without embarrassing himself or Theresa. His only option was to accept the situation, stay silent, and proceed with the marriage, fully intending to do everything he could to make it work.

Gerry’s feet were still cold when he spoke with Faith, the woman who received his first impression rose, at the rehearsal dinner.

He explained that he’d confessed everything to Faith. ‘I told her that marrying her was a mistake,’ he said. ‘I wish I could stop it, but I feel stuck and helpless.’ Faith responded by pointing at his chest and asking, ‘What are you doing? If you know this isn’t right, why are you still going through with the wedding? That’s not the real you.’

I just… I can’t even begin to explain it. Everyone kept saying he didn’t have to go through with it, Faith actually told him that, but it was like he was trapped. He said it was this awful thing, needing to make everyone happy, something he’d felt since he was a kid, and it just wouldn’t let go. He felt like he’d let so many people down if he didn’t – his daughters, Theresa’s family, even the whole cast and crew who’d come for the wedding, everyone who’d worked so hard to make it perfect. But honestly? It was Theresa. He still loved her, so much, even though things were moving too fast. He just couldn’t bear the thought of hurting her.

Though if you ask her, she’d rather have been a jilted bride than a divorcée. 

She told Us Weekly that it deeply saddened her to learn he felt so hopeless and stuck. She wished he had reached out for help instead of suffering in silence.

After Gerry and Theresa got married, it quickly became clear she wasn’t interested in continuing a romantic connection, even privately. When Gerry visited her at her home in New Jersey just a week after the wedding, he said he felt like an unwelcome guest, as if he didn’t belong there.

She suggested he sleep on the sofa because she had a busy day ahead, and the suggestion surprised him. He said he told her it was fine, but he was actually confused, thinking, ‘We’re married – why can’t I sleep in the bed?’

Theresa remembered things a little differently on the Dear Shandy podcast. She said they did share a bed the first night, but she couldn’t sleep because it had been a while since she’d slept next to someone. She recalled him offering to sleep on the couch, saying, ‘Oh, I can sleep on the couch if you want me to.’ She emphasized that she hadn’t asked him to do so; he offered it himself.

He ended up staying on the couch for three nights and drove back to Indiana a day sooner than planned. As Gerry observed, Theresa seemed like a different person compared to when they were in Costa Rica. While she had been comfortable and even initiated intimacy at the resort, she completely avoided it once they returned home.

Gerry and his wife met in Los Angeles after the finale of Joey Graziadei’s season in March 2024 to discuss their relationship. They both realized they’d rushed into marriage and decided to separate.

Gerry explained that, unlike their often stressful phone calls during their long-distance relationship, this conversation felt completely different – it was the most relaxed they’d ever had. He said that by finally addressing a difficult topic, they were able to speak to each other openly and honestly.

Even though Gerry’s daughters understood why he was getting a divorce, he still found it difficult. He primarily felt like he had let people down, explaining that he hadn’t accurately assessed the situation and had hurried into a marriage he wasn’t sure about. He was caught in a cycle of negative thoughts, feeling like he had repeatedly failed and was going through a very tough time.

Reading about the breakup only made things worse. Gerry felt that while he didn’t want to publicly address the rumors, Theresa could have clarified some of the false information. He believed she could have easily said he was financially secure and that they had agreed to separate amicably.

He described a time when he felt incredibly low, saying he didn’t even want to get out of bed. One night, overwhelmed by everything, he briefly considered ending his life. But then he thought of his daughters, Jenny and Angie, and knew he couldn’t do that to them. He clarified that he didn’t actually want to die, but rather felt a desperate need to escape. He explained that he was used to pushing through pain, believing it would eventually subside, but this felt different – like it would never end.

Just two weeks after filing for divorce, Gerry called his wife to talk. He hadn’t been diagnosed with cancer yet – it was a slow-growing type called Waldenström’s macroglobulinemia – but he wanted to update her on what he was going through with his health.

He said he couldn’t recall what she said during the phone call, as Theresa didn’t say much. He did remember, however, that she never followed up to see how he was or what was happening.

However, Gerry shared that he still hears from former colleagues Susan Noles and Kathy Swarts often. He and Theresa, on the other hand, are no longer in contact. “We don’t talk anymore,” he explained, “there’s just no reason to.”

Theresa explained that she was experienced in caring for someone with serious health issues, having been the primary caregiver for her husband after he suffered a stroke that left him partially paralyzed. In a post on Dear Shandy, she expressed her disbelief that anyone would question her dedication to him, stating, “The idea that anyone thinks I wouldn’t care for my sick husband is just not who I am.”

As a huge fan, I was really struck by what Gerry shared after everything with Theresa. He admitted he was left questioning her motives for being on The Golden Bachelor, and it got me thinking too. He said the women on the show actually helped him heal more than anything else, and it was so powerful to hear. He explained they seemed to collectively understand what really happened at the mansion – they all felt that sense of betrayal, and they weren’t afraid to voice it. Knowing they understood because they’d experienced it themselves must have meant the world to him, especially now that he’s engaged to Lana Sutton.

Something that really caught his attention and made him question Theresa’s intentions was the claim that several people saw her at the mansion with a copy of the book How to Win The Bachelor.

Honestly, seeing Theresa all cozy on that couch, plotting how to get a rose… it just made my stomach turn. It hit me then – she wasn’t there for love, not even a little bit. She was just…playing the game, and all she cared about was winning. It was so obvious, and it really bothered me.

Really, said Theresa, her reading habits were born from pure curiosity. 

I signed up for a free trial of Audible before going on the show, and I was surprised to find a book called How to Win The Bachelor, she explained on the Dear Shandy podcast. I thought, ‘Wow, someone actually wrote a guide on winning The Bachelor!’

She began listening to the audiobook, but only finished the first chapter before her trial period ran out. She added that it hadn’t crossed her mind at the show and didn’t influence her decision to attend at all.

Read More

2025-11-10 17:20