How Strive Bought Semler and Loaded Up on Bitcoin Like It’s Going out of Style!

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Well now, Strive’s set their spurs to full gallop, snatching up Semler Scientific at $90 a share and ponying up a whopping $675 million for a heap of bitcoin, pushin’ their stash up to a staggering 10,900 BTC – talk about hogging the henhouse! 🤠

Strive and Semler’s Grand Bitcoin Hoedown: Wrangling 10,900 BTC with Plans Bigger than a Mississippi Steamboat

Strive Inc., one of them fancy publicly traded bitcoin treasure hunters, announced on a brisk September 22nd that they’d gone and bought Semler Scientific Inc. with all the stock they could muster, valuing each Semler critter at a juicy $90.52-why, that’s a 210% premium on what Semler was sellin’ it for just days earlier! Each share of Semler flips over into about 21 of Strive’s Class A shares, like magic but with numbers.

But hold your horses-that ain’t all. In the same breath, Strive bragged they’d scooped up 5,816 bitcoins at around $116,047 a pop, shelling out $675 million including fees and whatnot, bringing their digital hoard to 5,886 BTC. With the merger, that gets ’em up to over 10,900 bitcoins. That’s enough to make old Scrooge McDuck dive in for a swim! Management even went on record, tipping their hat to their fortified balance sheets:

“The new and improved entity will hold over 10,900 bitcoins, and we’ll keep some cash on the side – not for moonshine, but for future financial shenanigans like perpetual preferred offerings.”

Meanwhile, they’re mullin’ over what to do with Semler’s diagnostics business, eyeing a future where it might grow into somethin’ like a preventative care platform, a fancy term for keepin’ folks out of the doctor’s waiting room. Semler’s known for gizmos like the FDA-approved Quantaflo test – a device that keeps an eye on peripheral arterial disease and other pesky ailments.

The bigwigs aren’t changin’ much – Strive’s current brain trust stays put, and Semler’s head honcho, Eric Semler himself,’ll join their board. Matt Cole, Strive’s top dog, had this to say:

“This here merger firmly plants Strive as a top dog in the bitcoin treasury field. We’re fixin’ to outpace bitcoin with our clever tricks and capital moves, long-term.”

“This deal shows just how fast we can grow our bitcoin pile and bitcoin per share, faster than a cat on a hot tin roof, drivin’ up equity value,” said Matt, with the enthusiasm of a riverboat gambler. The fans reckon this merger is a cozy twofer: a solid bet in digital gold and a peek into healthcare innovation with a shot of rocket fuel. Just last week, Strive also snuck in the acquisition of MSTR True North Inc., and they barely broke a sweat (or their piggybank!).

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2025-09-23 01:28