Is Bitcoin Finally The Universe’s Favourite Cryptocurrency? 🤔💰

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In an event worthy of an interstellar conference, BitMEX’s co-founder Arthur Hayes accused the Federal Reserve’s latest scheme, the Reserve Management Purchases (RMP), of being “QE in disguise”. Like a Vogon poem, he claims it will create renewed liquidity, propelling Bitcoin all the way to the stars-or, at least, to $124,000. As you’d expect, the Grand Providence of Satirical Finance provides more wisdom than a fleet of hyper-intelligent pan-dimensional beings.

  • Arthur Hayes equates the Fed’s RMP to the ancient art of quantitative easing.
  • His oh-so-reliable foresight leads to Bitcoin prancing between $80K and $100K, then galloping over $124K.
  • By 2026, Bitcoin could be glittering at $200,000 if Hayes’ predictions don’t take a sudden detour around the Galactic Center.

The noble sage of the Maelstrom Fund, carrying the title CIO, has divine visions where Bitcoin basks in glory between $80,000 and $100,000-before perhaps competing with a pellet gun to reach $124,000 and possibly strutting towards a magnificent $200,000.

In a December 19 thesis, reminiscent of the unique love languages of Betelgeusian tourists, Hayes scribbled that RMP is pretty much the same as quantitative easing, but it smartly gambles on indirect mechanisms.

Playfully reallocating his cosmic portfolio, sliding out of Ethereum like a skilled escape artist and vaulting into some high-quality DeFi assets that seem as reliable as a Vogon’s maintenance manual in “fixing” inefficiencies, Hayes assures us they’ll outperform, especially when fiat liquidity decides to hit the “pour” button.

We are rotating out of $ETH and into high-quality DeFi names, which we believe can outperform as fiat liquidity improves.

– Arthur Hayes (@CryptoHayes) December 20, 2025

RMP operates through the money market fund channel

Introduced, if you can believe it, at a meeting on December 10 that would put even the most boring of Vogon space conference announcements to shame, RMP was soon the talk of the galaxy. Hayes’ breathless arithmetic reveals it’s a way of snatching short-term Treasury bills from unsuspecting money market funds, only to have them disrupted and re-deployed into the more adventurous realms of longer-dated Treasuries or repo markets, as though through some convoluted financial wormhole.

Essentially, it finances the government in a much sneakier, more cryptic manner-like wayward smugglers running an illegal spaceship under a Captain Koon’s “Ample Reserves” guidance, resulting in a balance sheet expansion displayed only to those with the vision to see it amidst the cosmic chaos. Hayes paints this as “Money Printer Go F* Brrrrr”, which, granted, might not be up to snuff with an actual Dirk Gently adventure.

Multi-phase Bitcoin price trajectory through 2026

Hayes, continuing in such vein, predicts choppy Bitcoin seas between $80,000 and $100,000 near the Earth-equivalent period of December 2025 to January 2026. He cites folks clinging stubbornly to the false notion that RMP isn’t just quantitative easing in mesmerizing disguise, plus the uncertainty as to whether the program will conclude before the end of April 2026 (who knows, it could be replaced by, I don’t know, Nuclear Submarine Racing?).

Once the masses come to their senses, expecting a surge, Bitcoin would retake $124,000 and sashay up towards $200,000 in the dawn of 2026. Predictably, this would be fueled by institutional FOMO, ETF inflows, and the widespread realization that the Fed truly backs government spending like a supermassive black hole backs up everyone’s worries.

At what Hayes prophetically labels “peak expectations” in March 2026, Bitcoin could pull a stunt worthy of a resident Marx Brother, dropping to form a local bottom-somewhere “well above $124,000,” because why not set the bar higher? Of course, any such retreat would be a cunning strategy, not a full-blown cycle top. Towards November’s closing act that year, Hayes loftily expanded his prophecy where Bitcoin might just stroll to $500,000 by year-end 2026.

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2025-12-20 17:38