Look, I’m not a financial advisor – I once spent £300 on a “limited edition” golden cactus that keeled over dead within 72 hours, so take every word I say with a fistful of salt and a large gin and tonic. The world’s second-largest crypto by market cap, ETH, has been serving the most chaotic, all-over-the-place energy lately. Last year it scraped a new all-time high, but it was so close to the previous peak it might as well have just leaned against the wall and called it a day. Then it nosedived so hard I thought my ancient Nokia 3310 would have better long-term returns, and its market share against Bitcoin has dwindled like my will to go to a work do after 5pm on a Friday.
Today a bloke called Daan Crypto Trades popped up on X asking if maybe, just maybe, it’s finally time to hoover up some ETH after last week’s crash sent it tumbling to a 14-month low of $1,500. For context, that’s less than I paid for a vintage Frank Ocean vinyl and a very mediocre pasta at that overpriced Shoreditch spot, so yeah, not exactly a win.
So, Should I Actually Buy This Crap Or What?
Turns out ETH is on track for its second-worst first half of the year since 2022, which already sounds like a very sad participation trophy no one wants. Back then it dropped 10.75% in Q1 and a catastrophic 67% in Q2 – for context, that’s worse than my dating record in 2022, and that’s really saying something. So far this year it’s dumped 29% in Q1 and 21% in Q2, with a couple of weeks left to really twist the knife. Even worse? It’s set to close three straight quarters of double-digit losses – Q4 2025 already wrapped up down 28%, which is exactly the percentage of my monthly salary I spend on overpriced iced coffee and emergency snacks.
Daan pointed out it’s been an absolute garbage 9 months for ETH ever since it peaked back when that Bitmine accumulation craze kicked off. Remember Tom Lee’s whole firm? They bought billions worth of ETH, and now they’re billions in the red on their position. Which is exactly how I felt after buying those “limited edition” NFTs of my own face last year. Whoops, daft me.
He’s still somehow optimistic about Ethereum’s role in tokenization, DeFi, “and all that other stuff I pretend to understand at dinner parties to make myself look clever,” and says the current prices are “finally attractive again if you’re planning to hold it for years.” Which is the crypto equivalent of saying you’ll definitely join the gym in January, but for your wallet, and we all know how that ends.
Still, he did warn that bear markets drag on way longer than anyone expects, and “it never hurts to have some dry powder lying around for weird unforeseen circumstances.” Which is exactly what I say right before I blow my entire paycheck on last-minute concert tickets and a new pair of shoes I don’t need, so fair play to him.
Everyone’s Yanking ETH Out Of Exchanges Like It’s A Bad Date
Meanwhile, another analyst called Ali Martinez noticed that crypto investors have been withdrawing their ETH from exchanges en masse lately, like they’re all trying to escape a very boring first date that’s going nowhere. Citing Glassnode data, he said almost 500,000 ETH – worth around $800 million at current prices, which is more than my total student loan debt, cheers – have been pulled out of trading platforms in just one week. He says this could line up with that whole accumulation strategy, acting as an early sign that people are hoarding ETH like I hoard unopened skincare samples I’ll definitely get round to using one day. Sure I will.
Nearly 500,000 Ethereum $ETH, worth roughly $800 million, have been withdrawn from trading platforms over the past week.
This could be an early sign of accumulation.
– Ali Charts (@alicharts) June 13, 2026
In a follow-up post, though, Martinez dropped the less fun news that ETH’s actual price bottom could be more than 50% away from current levels, sitting around $700. Which is great news if you’re waiting to buy cheap, and terrible news if you already threw all your spare cash at it like I did with those limited edition Frank Ocean vinyls last month. Oops, daft bitch.
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2026-06-14 10:40