Jilly Cooper: “I just think I’m a drip with no confidence”

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This article originally appeared in *TopMob* magazine in April 1996, coinciding with Jilly Cooper’s appearance on Radio 3’s *Private Passions* to discuss her new novel, *Appassionata*.

Honestly, what can you even *say* about Jolly Jilly? She’s this endlessly fascinating character – a real Essex girl at heart, though she grew up in Yorkshire. She’s got this huge personality, always talking, and a gap-toothed smile. She’s absolutely crazy about animals, insists they prefer her to people, and lays on the compliments thick – which, let’s be real, always feels like it comes from a place of needing reassurance.

It’s hard not to feel pleased when someone heaps on the compliments, even if you suspect they say the same nice things to everyone. This woman is incredibly kind and empathetic, but also has a very lively imagination.

Jilly Cooper’s newest novel, *Appassionata*, brings the drama to the world of professional orchestras, just as her previous books did for showjumping, polo, television, and younger men. Set in the fictional county of Rutshire, it features many beloved characters, including the villainous Rupert Campbell-Black. The story is filled with incredibly talented men, women concerned with their appearance, and characters who are both charmingly innocent and intensely passionate – with plenty of steamy scenes, including one involving a glockenspiel.

Her husband, Leo, works as a military history publisher and commutes to London a few days a week. He believes her personal life heavily influences her writing – her beloved late dog, Barbara, even inspired a character named Gertrude. While he doesn’t read every book cover to cover, he came up with the playful title “Sex and Chopin” for her novel, Appassionata.

Her mother explains that she’s always been drawn to charming, privileged, and somewhat mischievous men. Her life often feels like a funny and dramatic television show. While some might think it’s all a calculated publicity stunt, the truth is she’s incredibly authentic. You simply couldn’t fake that level of endearing cluelessness.

It’s hard to imagine someone so eccentric dedicating three years to writing such extensive books. Since life is full of unknowns, why not simply enjoy a relaxing lunch, prepared by her assistant Pippa, at her cozy kitchen table in Gloucestershire?

She quickly jumps between subjects, dismissing the book as dull. She admits she’d rather chat about more exciting things, but feels she has to watch what she says. She recalls a time when people could freely speak their minds, but now things are different and she’s more cautious about what she reveals.

There was a lot of public scandal in 1990 when it came out that her husband, Leo—whom she’d met at age fourteen and married in 1961—had been having an affair for years. It seems that’s all behind them now. Just recently, a television producer wanted to film them as a couple, but she explained they only share intimacy occasionally, something the BBC wouldn’t allow. The producer was mortified. Would anyone like more wine?

She’s 59, but honestly, she looks at least ten years younger. She was talking about aging – she actually checked herself out in the mirror while washing her hair earlier and said something about not wanting ‘pleated skin,’ which made me chuckle. But she quickly added that when she’s focused on work, she doesn’t really have time to worry about that stuff. It was a sweet, slightly self-conscious moment. She was saying all this *to her dog*, Hero, who, by the way, is currently glued to my shoes and I’m trying to subtly nudge him away with my foot. He just won’t stop sniffing!

A black and white cat named Simon Rattle – after the famous conductor – is staring at me from the table. “Isn’t he sweet?” Jilly asks. Apparently, he likes me and is about to show off. She warns me he’s a little crazy and has a habit of jumping onto people’s shoulders and holding on tight. It’s usually fine, she adds, “except when you’re answering the phone without any clothes on.”

I hadn’t been thinking about doing that, I mumbled, but Jilly was being kind again, now fussing over the photographer and his assistant. “Shouldn’t you give your daughter something to eat? She looks really hungry. Would you like some potatoes to go?”

Now it’s time for questions, but she cuts in with some advice. She explains that when she used to write interviews, she’d spend weeks perfecting them, and she’d love to share what she’s learned with journalists. Her first rule? Always show up looking approachable and friendly. She gestures to the champagne, saying it was thoughtful of them to bring it. And her second rule: talk to minicab drivers – they seem to know everything about everyone.

People are really enthusiastic about Mrs. Mellor; they admire her beauty, kindness, and feel sorry for her. I recently spoke to someone who had just met Virginia Bottomley and was very impressed, even describing her as gorgeous in a tracksuit after a run. I also came up with a playful joke: the Arts Council, which Mrs. Bottomley oversees, doesn’t have a ‘Bottomley’s pit’ – a play on words referring to a coal mine.

Why not write something kind about her? It’s just that nowadays, people might misinterpret it. Someone should also write a positive article about Camilla Parker-Bowles – she’s wonderful. I truly adore her.

She knows her neighbours well, including Ronnie Ferguson, whom she describes as a wonderful man, and George Milford Haven, a strikingly handsome polo player. She also mentions Mickey Suffolk, the Earl of Suffolk and Berkshire, as a lovely man. People often compare him to Rupert Campbell-Black, but she points out that Rupert isn’t based on any single individual.

She’s been living in the countryside for the past 15 years, after moving from south London. She reflects that life is never truly perfect, and admits that as a writer, she sometimes feels the need to isolate herself. Luckily, she has help with Pippa and others, and Leo assists her four days a week.

I really need to focus to write, and I can’t do that when I’m around people who are having a good time – especially if they’re trying to get me to drink! I do have friends here, but I’ve been avoiding them, which is a bit dull. I’ve decided I’m going to start being more spontaneous and stop saying ‘no’ to everything.

This week marks the start of a busy social schedule for her, as she promotes both her novel, Appassionata, and the accompanying soundtrack CD. One critic dismissively called the CD’s music selection what you’d expect from someone who casually listens to classical radio, but Jilly herself describes it as breathtakingly beautiful, so much so that she cried while listening to it in the bath and cooled the water with her tears.

The biggest letdown was the cancellation of the TV series based on ‘The Man Who Made Husbands Jealous’ due to funding issues. It’s frustrating, especially for the actors who were counting on the work. She also wasn’t impressed with the previous adaptation of ‘Riders,’ feeling it barely resembled the book. She dislikes when adaptations completely change the story, and it seems they’re only interested in using the title. While she admits she doesn’t understand screenwriting and acknowledges it’s likely challenging, she did enjoy some aspects of ‘The Man Who Made Husbands Jealous,’ particularly the well-chosen dogs, mentioning the excellent casting of a Jack Russell.

I was absolutely floored by the amount of research that went into this book – the acknowledgments alone were seven pages long! Apparently, there’s a character named Barbara who was a real help. The author really wanted to get the details right, and she described the process as fun, but incredibly difficult. Imagine trying to keep track of 86 musicians in an orchestra! She kept getting details mixed up – a character would have red hair one minute and be completely different the next. She honestly didn’t think she’d ever finish, but then her housekeeper announced she was getting married and leaving in October, which lit a fire under her! She finished the whole thing in six weeks, driven purely by panic, which I totally get – deadlines are powerful motivators!

She believes fear can lead people to be cruel, and she thinks this is especially true for women in positions of power. They often feel the need to prove themselves, which can unfortunately result in harsh behavior, particularly towards other women. While men can be bullies too, she feels women can be even more cutting. She points to the sometimes hostile environment within women’s magazines as an example, noting the high-pitched and intense tone of voice often used when women interact with each other in those settings. She acknowledges it might be controversial to say, but she feels the volume and intensity of these interactions contribute to a sense of shrillness.

She watches Pippa searching for Jeff, the gardener, through the French windows – their property is fourteen acres large. She laughs, saying she loves how Leo hates having to search for the gardeners all over the grounds. She thinks it’s funny that they have such a large garden that finding the gardeners takes so long.

She writes in a messy gazebo using an old typewriter named Monica, which she bought in Cirencester back in 1984. She’s quite attached to it, believing her writing will suffer when the typewriter finally breaks down. She also intends to learn the piano pieces played by Marcus, the son of Rupert, who is a concert pianist.

She remembers playing piano with her father, who played the violin, and it’s the only time she ever saw him cry. She’s been thinking about why people generally love music so much. Samuel Johnson once described it as a purely enjoyable experience, without any negative consequences. She also acknowledges that the world of classical music can be pretentious. Growing up, she was taught to dismiss composers like Rachmaninov and Chopin, and Liszt was considered unacceptable, but now those same composers are incredibly popular.

I don’t really like most modern composers. A few are talented, but many seem fake and insincere. It’s baffling to me why they’d pretend to be something they’re not for such little reward. At least I can be a bit of a fraud and get well-paid for it!” she said with a hearty laugh. “Now, would you like some cheese?”

She’s likely quite rich now, though she strongly insists she isn’t. It’s true she’s helped Leo’s business a few times and is generous with her grown children, who are in their twenties, but her four bestselling books also bring in a good income. She then asks for Pippa, saying, “I need the money, don’t I?”

“Yeah, she’s broke,” Pippa admits, perhaps exaggerating a little. Jilly, still smiling, adds, “I’m not trying to be confrontational or overly sensitive, though it does bother me. Polly Toynbee wrote a really harsh article in The Times questioning why I write such poor material when I’m financially secure. That was painful. I’ve dedicated the last three years entirely to writing this book.”

People often assume I’m worth around five million dollars. I have a lot going on – a big family, kids, a large house, plenty of taxes, and even a few pets. Honestly, I’m not very good with money, so it doesn’t always stick around. I’m serious! It’s easy for people to see the outward signs of wealth, but they have no idea what’s really going on behind closed doors – the family struggles, unexpected expenses, or even just a quirky pet with expensive habits.

I shot Simon Rattle a triumphant look as he quietly walked away. I apologized for dwelling on finances, explaining that it all depended on perspective. I admitted I needed to pull myself together, confessing I often felt insecure and worried about bringing others down with my lack of confidence.

I tried to be reassuring, though I could feel myself becoming a little tense. I believe insecurity often fuels creativity. “Okay,” she said brightly, “I’m very insecure. Would you like cream with your strawberries?” She looked for cream in the fridge, couldn’t find any, and asked Pippa, who showed her it was already on the table. “That’s just like me,” she laughed. “I don’t even notice things when they’re right in front of me. I’m hopeless in the kitchen.”

She’s currently working on a suspenseful thriller where she plans to eliminate another tough character, Rannaldini, despite her agent’s concerns that it doesn’t fit her usual style. Afterward, she’d like to write a novel about golf. She believes getting the details right is key, then filling the story with lively, engaging characters. She feels her novel *Appassionata* is enjoyable and hopes it brings happiness to readers, which she sees as a worthwhile goal. Ultimately, she aspires to write a truly meaningful and well-crafted novel, even if she’s unsure if she’s capable. She muses that the phrase ‘Bottomley’s pit’ is a clever play on words.

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2025-10-06 17:07