MicroStrategy Flirts with 600K Bitcoin—Will Saylor Finally Blink?

by

In a certain windowless boardroom, where the coffee is always stale and hope is rationed like sugar, MicroStrategy (which now, in a fit of existential irony, calls itself simply Strategy) finds itself in possession of 597,325 magical Bitcoin—nearly $65 billion, or as they say in Moscow, enough to keep the samovar boiling for several generations.

Just last week, in what must have felt like buying bread with the last kopek before winter, Strategy acquired 4,980 additional BTC at the modest price of $531 million. That marks their twelfth consecutive week of buying—a streak longer than most Russian marriages. Now, every consultant and would-be crypto czar awaits, like nervous lovers before the first snowfall, to see if CEO Michael Saylor will push the red button for week thirteen, or merely polish it and stare moodily into the abyss.

Corporate Treasuries—Or How the Rich Get Bored

Strategy’s own ledger, printed in a font cheerier than the mood, shows 597,325 BTC—a figure tantalizingly close to the round and superstitious 600,000. Only 2,675 BTC stand between Saylor and the cold comfort of a new record. Last week’s buy tied a previous spree, occurring somewhere between the waning days of 2024 and whatever future historians will call 2025. Should Saylor buy again, perhaps out of habit, boredom, or simple confusion, a new record will be set. Champagne will flow, or at least memes will be tweeted.

“Some weeks you just need to HODL.”
— Michael Saylor (@saylor), July 6, 2025
To HODL, or not to HODL? That is the question. 🥸

The crowd (that is, everyone haunting X and the occasional CFO) leans forward. Another big purchase? Cue thunderous applause and rallying prices! A cryptic post? A communal groan. Saylor’s world-weary “Some weeks you just need to HODL” was taken by some as a sign of impending inertia, or perhaps a man simply tired of pressing “Buy” in perpetuity.

Bitcoin on the Ledger—Numbers That Would Make Dostoevsky Weep

Elsewhere in this Dickensian ledger of crypto fortunes, 18 companies snatched up a dazzling 8,400 BTC just last week. Strategy took the lion’s share—almost 5,000 BTC—while design-software sultans at Figma quietly joined the gold rush. Suddenly the impossible threshold of corporate bitcoin holdings doesn’t seem so impossible. Just Russian winter, after all: wait long enough and anything feels survivable.

Meanwhile, BlackRock’s IBIT ETF has gone full Tolstoy, crossing the 600,000 BTC mark like Pierre storming Moscow. Big asset managers are piling in with all the subtlety of a bear loose in a bakery. And that, friends, is how you get crypto’s price to flirt shamelessly with its record highs: Bitcoin now trades at $108,650, a mere rabbit’s leap (28%) from its $111,980 peak. Will our digital Don Juan make it? Place your bets (or your existential doubts).

In a Twist Worthy of a Russian Twilight: Strategy and our hero Saylor are embroiled in a class-action suit that claims they tried to cover up a Q1 2025 loss—billions in markdowns, conveniently camouflaged. If the court finds wrongdoing, expect more write-downs than the collected works of Turgenev, and perhaps a pause in the bitcoin shopping spree. Cue dramatic music—and doubled-up accountants.

Meanwhile, out on the trading floor, Bitcoin’s price teeters, like an old pensioner on an icy street. Will a new purchase push us past $111,950? Will a period of HODLing send us back to the shadows? Investors now haunt Saylor’s posts with the desperate devotion of hamsters waiting for sunflower seeds.

Strategy, only 2,675 BTC away from a historic buying streak, could announce its triumph any day—or sigh, order more coffee, and wait. Suspense reigns. Some say such tension is unbearable. Others simply open another bottle and watch the ticker.

And so, the market’s fate dangles—that ambiguous, Russian kind of excitement, where hope and dread dine together, and everyone keeps one eye on the snow outside. 🪑💸

Read More

2025-07-08 07:44