24 hours on Solana: A circus of $2M buybacks, NYC token rollercoasters, and 55K users chasing free SOL. 🎪
In a mere day, Solana became the stage for a farce of Shakespearean proportions. From tokens mimicking stock markets to buybacks orchestrated by the people (or their wallets), here’s your front-row seat to the madness. 🎭
NYC Token: A Tale of Meteoric Rise and a Slightly Less Meteoric Crash 🌋
A token named “NYC,” birthed from the mind of a former mayor, vowed to “fight antisemitism” with blockchain magic. It soared to a $500M market cap faster than a subway rat fleeing a train, then plummeted to $90M in 15 minutes. Now it hovers at $130M-proving volatility isn’t just for stocks anymore. 📉
Critics called it “unstable.” Enthusiasts called it “Tuesday.” The moral? Crypto is the only place where losing 80% feels like a minor inconvenience. 😅
Ranger Finance’s Buyback: Democracy, or Just a Flash Mob? 🗳️
$2M buyback proposal? Not by the team, but by the people! (Or at least their wallets.) The Ranger Finance crew helped craft the transaction “to uphold decentralized governance principles.” Ah, yes-democracy in action, where the people’s voice echoes through the blockchain corridors. 🗣️🏛️
“There’s been a $2M buyback prop submitted by token holders”
– Cobra ⛰️, tweeting as if this were normal
Volume? A measly $85K. But hey, every revolution starts small. Or maybe it’s just a flash mob with better PR. 🎉
TrojanOnSolana: 55K Users and a $5M Candy Store 🎁
A new terminal called TrojanOnSolana launched with $5M in rewards and features like “45% instant cashback” and “auto-sell trenches.” The crowd? 55K users in an hour. The pitch? “Sign up for $50 and get free SOL!” The result? A feeding frenzy. 🐟
“🚨 TROJAN TERMINAL JUST DROPPED AND IT’S ACTUALLY INSANE 🔥”
– Jonny, a man who clearly needs more hobbies
Auto-sell trenches saving bags? Daily SOL rewards? It’s like Wall Street met a carnival. 🎪 The only thing missing was cotton candy. 🍭
SHDWAPP: Privacy Protocol or Ghost Town? 👻
SHDWAPP promised “private transfers” but delivered a product where transactions were as private as a subway conversation. Users couldn’t withdraw funds, and support was “contact us” with no actual channels. A privacy protocol with transparency issues? How ironic. 🕵️♂️
SolanaFloor warned users to “proceed with caution.” Translation: “This app is a mystery box, and you might lose your lunch money.” 🎁
Related Reading: Solana Price Could Reach $200 (Because 2024 Needed More Whales) 🐋
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2026-01-13 20:45