The Best Michael Bay Movie He Never Made Is Way Better Than You Remember

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Among the misjudged blockbusters of our time, a 2012 military sci-fi film stands out as one that has been unjustly overlooked. Initially dismissed as a movie adaptation of a board game, it was ridiculed before it even had a chance to make its mark. However, for those who took the time to watch it or revisited it years later with an open mind, this film showcases Michael Bay-like action and spectacle, proving that it’s arguably the best movie he never actually directed in the first person.

In the grand style of Michael Bay, from the dramatic battle scenes to the thunderous sound effects, every scene in “Battleship” is brimming with Bay-esque elements. It’s easy to forget that this film wasn’t directed by the man behind “Transformers” and “Armageddon,” but rather by the creator of “Friday Night Lights,” Peter Berg. The movie offers a blend of excessive male camaraderie, an almost worshipful portrayal of American naval power, advanced alien technology, dramatic slow-motion shots, and explosions that are overwhelming to the senses. If “Transformers” had a boisterous seawater relative, “Battleship” would surely be it.

With Battleship, the Ridiculous Plot is Kind of the Point

The main concept of the movie “Battleship” is intentionally over-the-top. A swarm of extraterrestrial ships land in Earth’s oceans following our transmission into space. Amidst the confusion, a former Navy officer named Alex Hopper (played by Taylor Kitsch) finds himself thrust into the role of hero at just the right moment to save the planet. If this plot sounds reminiscent of numerous other action-packed redemption arcs, it’s because it was deliberately designed that way. This film doesn’t aim for seriousness. The dialogue is corny, and the storyline is laughably implausible. However, the sincerity is genuine. Unlike other blockbusters that wink at genre cliches, “Battleship” plunges in without an ounce of irony. It doesn’t strive to be smart but manages to have a lot of emotion, eventually adhering to the popcorn-movie formula and going all out.

Similar to Michael Bay’s films such as “Pearl Harbor” and “13 Hours,” “Battleship” is a heartfelt tribute to the United States military. The movie showcases the military in an almost divine light, from the polished bird’s-eye views of ships cutting through ocean swells to the respectful portrayal of veterans taking on one final mission. Director Peter Berg, like Bay, has a knack for making machinery look like sacred relics. Weapons sparkle, engines rumble, and every missile gets its close-up. It’s a celebration of patriotism that leaves no stone unturned. But the twist is, there are aliens involved.

In their armored forms with glowing eyes and weaponry reminiscent of Transformers, they seem as if they’ve leaped straight from a Michael Bay movie. These invaders are crafted for maximum visual impact, their designs hinting at a collaboration between Hasbro and Bay’s visual effects team in a dreamlike state. The way these alien ships maneuver, transform, and assault is heavy and intimidating, leaving no room for doubt about their strength. The movie skillfully builds tension around their abilities, unlike the usually frenetic and heavily-edited action sequences common in Bay’s work. Director Berg finds a balance between prolonging the spectacle just enough for viewers to appreciate it and keeping things clear enough so one can comprehend the chaos unfolding.

The lead character, portrayed by Kitsch, exhibits brashness, impulsiveness, and a touch of rebellion, much like Navy equivalents of Shia LaBeouf or Ben Affleck. Debuting on the big screen for the first time, Rihanna brings an unexpectedly dynamic energy as a weapons expert with a no-nonsense attitude. Liam Neeson adds gravitas as the Admiral you wouldn’t want to disappoint due to his stoic demeanor and growling tone. The overall atmosphere is reminiscent of a Transformers sequel, but this cast demonstrates just enough sincerity and self-awareness to make it believable. In one of the film’s most striking scenes, a group of elderly Navy veterans join forces with the younger crew to seize control of the U.S.S. Missouri, an actual WWII battleship now serving as a memorial, and take the battle to the aliens.

If this scene seems like something Bay might storyboard while rocking out to Aerosmith, you’re not off base. This sequence is essentially a tribute to American tenacity, perfectly synchronized with AC/DC’s “Thunderstruck,” and filmed as if it were an action movie trailer in its own right. It seems improbable, overly sentimental, and contrived. Yet, somehow, it manages to work, and it becomes the most emotionally impactful moment of the film. Watching real-life veterans ignite the engines of a seemingly dormant warship and set sail for battle is surprisingly inspiring. It’s so genuine that it overcomes the kitschiness.

Upon its premiere, critics harshly criticized the movie “Battleship,” with a Rotten Tomatoes score still sitting at a frosty 34%. Audiences were left perplexed by the advertising and disenchanted by the notion of a film derived from a strategic board game. However, let’s face it, the board game was never the main attraction. The movie may bear the title “Battleship,” but it’s more about blending spectacle, heartfelt sincerity, and patriotic heroism in a mixer to see what results. And what transpires is an exhilarating, unabashed, surprisingly emotional rollercoaster that outlasts even the highest expectations. In this era filled with inflated, self-important blockbusters, “Battleship” stands out as a breath of fresh air. It acknowledges its genre and doesn’t attempt to disguise itself, which is commendable. The film embodies the spirit of “Armageddon,” the alien technology of “Transformers,” and the military swagger of “Top Gun.” Despite Michael Bay not being the director, “Battleship” is a remarkable demonstration of Bayhem by someone who seems to have mastered the playbook, and perhaps even surpassed it.

You can watch Battleship on Prime Video and YouTube.

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2025-07-26 19:41