Twenty One Capital’s Wild Bitcoin Loan Scheme: What Could Go Wrong? 😱

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Twenty One Capital is reportedly exploring a strategy that would allow it to issue US dollar loans backed by Bitcoin collateral, Bloomberg reported Wednesday, citing a person familiar with the matter. Imagine trying to pawn a dragon’s hoard for a mortgage—except the dragon is a cryptocurrency and the pawnshop is a company that thinks “optionality is wealth.” 🐉💰

“Optionality is wealth; for us everything is on the table because we think we can do anything,” a spokesperson for the crypto company reportedly said. A mantra for those who think they can turn lead into gold… or Bitcoin into dollars. 🪄

Twenty One Capital, backed by Cantor Fitzgerald, has expanded its Bitcoin holdings to at least 43,500 BTC, about 1,500 Bitcoin (BTC) more than originally projected. The company recently acquired about 5,800 BTC from stablecoin issuer Tether, pushing its total holdings to an estimated $5.13 billion at current prices. A mountain of Bitcoin, or a fortune that could buy a small island… or a lot of tea. 🍵

Launched in April, the company aims to build one of the largest Bitcoin treasuries and is supported by Tether, Bitfinex and SoftBank. A planned merger with SPAC Cantor Equity Partners is expected to take the company public in the near future. Because nothing says “trust us” like a SPAC. 🧙‍♂️

Firms move beyond hodling

As digital assets become part of balance sheets, public companies and funds are moving beyond the old hodl strategy. Many now lend out Bitcoin, stake Ether (ETH) or write options to generate yield on dormant holdings. Hodling is for monks, and now even they’re getting creative. 🧘‍♂️

Bitcoin miners like MARA Holdings and CleanSpark are pioneering yield-generating strategies, using crypto options and derivatives to boost revenue instead of passively holding Bitcoin. CleanSpark reportedly plans to explore more complex derivatives, aiming to profit from market volatility. Like a squirrel with a business plan. 🐿️💰

JPMorgan Chase is also reportedly exploring the option of lending against crypto assets like Bitcoin and Ether (ETH). The Financial Times reported this may happen by 2026, though the plans are subject to change. JPMorgan, the financial equivalent of a dragon in a library, is now eyeing crypto as collateral. 🐉📚

CryptoMoon reached out to Twenty One Capital for comment but had not received a response by publication. CryptoMoon, ever the persistent detective, knocked on the door… and got silence. The universe is still waiting for a reply. 🕵️‍♂️

Crypto lending picks up

As reported, San Francisco-based Divine Research has issued about 30,000 unbacked short-term USDC (USDC) loans since December 2024, targeting underserved overseas borrowers. The firm uses Sam Altman’s iris-scanning World ID to verify users and prevent repeat defaults through duplicate accounts. Because nothing says “trust us” like a biometric scan from a guy who once said “AI is going to be awesome.” 👁️

Meanwhile, decentralized finance lending has also seen a rebound. According to Sygnum’s Q3 2025 Investment Outlook, DeFi lending hit an all-time high of $70 billion locked last quarter, and liquid staking surpassed 30% of Ether’s supply. DeFi lending is back with a vengeance, like a vampire who’s finally found a stake that works. 🧛‍♂️

“The DeFi lending sector is one of the strongest beneficiaries of market rallies, with active loans on Ethereum surging to new all-time highs as investors take on greater risk and leveraged exposure,” Sygnum wrote. Sygnum, ever the optimist, says DeFi is booming, because nothing says “success” like a 70 billion dollar loan pool. 💰

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2025-07-30 17:01