Vanadi Coffee, a Spanish coffee shop that’s now a bitcoin treasury tycoon, has solemnly approved investing up to €1 billion in BTC. The board declared, with the gravitas of a dying monarch, that they see bitcoin as a “treasure chest” and “inflation shield.”
Spain’s Vanadi Coffee Nods to Bitcoin’s €1B Hail Mary (Yes, Again)
More companies are now treating bitcoin like a financial espresso shot-short, jittery, and potentially ruinous. Vanadi Coffee, a coffee chain that abandoned lattes for ledgers, has greenlit a BTC spending spree. One wonders if the board members even know how to make a cappuccino anymore.
At a shareholders’ meeting that probably featured more spreadsheets than coffee mugs, Vanadi Coffee approved a €1 billion BTC investment. The press release praised bitcoin’s “decentralized reserve power” while ignoring the fact that it’s also a volatility rollercoaster. One shareholder reportedly asked, “What if it crashes?” The CEO replied, “That’s why we call it a ‘hedge,’ darling.”
Vanadi Coffee, which now claims to be Spain’s first “bitcoin treasury-based company,” insists BTC will be their “inflation hedge” and “long-term value asset.” Translation: They hope it doesn’t go to zero. The company also promises transparency-probably to distract from the 99% stock plunge they suffered before this pivot.
Salvador Martí, Vanadi’s president, called the move a “milestone,” adding, “Bitcoin is the future.” One imagines him sipping a crypto-infused latte while nervously checking his portfolio. The same board that once served coffee now serves shareholders panic.
Vanadi’s June pivot to Bitcoin was hailed as a “Hail Mary” by analysts. It worked-briefly. Stock prices spiked, then plummeted. Now they’re back, with a bigger bet and a smaller chance of survival.
Currently, Vanadi holds 100 BTC, bought at $116,340 each. Bit2me, their chosen exchange, is now both their ATM and their therapist. One wonders if the liquidity provider gets a bonus if Vanadi survives this.
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2025-09-27 10:58