Well, well! It seems early birds weren’t the only ones ruffled by a little morning squawking from the honorable Treasury Secretary Scott Bessent. 🐦 With a mere peep on Thursday, he managed to send Bitcoin and its crypto pals into a tailspin, but fear not! As the day wore on, our stalwart Senator Cynthia Lummis swooped in to save the day like a caped crusader-but with a much better understanding of economics. She exclaimed, “America needs the BITCOIN Act!”, fervently waving her legislative wand to conjure up a Strategic Bitcoin Reserve that wouldn’t require the good ol’ taxpayers to cough up more dollars! 🎩✨
During a Fox Business cameo that reverberated through the digital ether, Bessent announced that the government is “not going to be buying” any more Bitcoin and declared, “We’re going to stop selling that!”-as if it could be any clearer. 🧐 Just when the markets seemed to sink their fangs into a 3.7
Now, lending a sympathetic ear to the plight of the nation’s funds, Lummis in her grand academic wisdom declared, “Secretary Bessent is spot on! A budget-neutral path is the ticket to our salvation!” It’s a marvel the country’s $37 trillion debt could be evaded simply by giving those gold reserves a little dusting-off to match today’s prices. “America needs the BITCOIN Act,” she reiterated, then mischievously added, “I have a ₿ill for that!” Who knew legislation could have a sense of humor? 😄
Her Twitter fingers were furiously typing away as she flaunted her newly minted collaborations with Bessent and renowned financiers to hatch clever budget-neutral plans to outsmart foreign foes in this wild race for crypto supremacy. 🏁
You see, folks, this Strategic Bitcoin Reserve was mapped out back in March, when Trump unceremoniously signed the executive order to start hoarding those forfeited coins like a squirrel before winter. As if the nation was preparing for a potluck of Bitcoin, Lummis’s BITCOIN Act aims to legally bind this strategy into hard, unyielding law, intending to draw up a plan to acquire a whopping 200,000 BTC a year-like green stamps, but shinier! 🌟
In contrast to Bessent’s dismissive tone about giving the US gold a makeover valuation, Lummis is championing her own revolution to utilize gold’s worth to expand the Bitcoin coffers without borrowing a dime-a plan facing its share of skepticism, but hey, what’s life without a little insisting on the impossible? 🎢
All things considered, Thursday was less about dramatic policy shifts and more like a game of musical chairs-switch seats but don’t remove any! The Executive branch has wisely chosen to start accumulating its Strategic Bitcoin Reserve with only the forfeited coins, but they’ll look into budget-friendly methods to fatten that reserve. As of now, BTC is playfully twirling around the $118,751 mark, waiting as ever for its moment in the spotlight. 🎉
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2025-08-15 13:19