Crypto Gains Thrive While Your Uncle Still Hates Bitcoin-The Solzhenitsyn Edition

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Once again, the CoinDesk Indices emerge from the digital fog to declare their daily gospel. We are presented a bulletin, not unlike those grim statistics nailed to the wall of a provincial labor camp: who is permitted to celebrate today, and who must dwell in the crypt beneath their price chart.

Behold! The CoinDesk 20, battered yet obstinate, ticks higher-now at 4119.66. The jubilant +40.29 since Friday 4 p.m. ET might tickle your portfolio, if you’re inclined to dreams. Or perhaps you’ll simply note the number and return to your duties, as the faltering ruble used to mock us with its meager optimism. 💸

Of 20 selected crypto souls, merely seven trade higher. The rest, I imagine, mourn in silence beneath flickering monitors, their trading volumes the only witness to their agony. 📉

Now, the blessed: Chainlink, known to the commune as LINK, surges with the pride of a factory foreman who smuggled an extra turnip home, rising 8.9%. Ethereum waves its battered banner with +3.3%.

Meanwhile, in the tundra: Hedera (HBAR) drops by -3.4%, Uniswap (UNI) limps after with -3.3%. Their shareholders are surely lighting candles, or perhaps just hoping someone out there remembers them. 🔥

The CoinDesk 20 operates globally, if global means everywhere-in the grand tradition of systems no one fully understands, sprawling from New York to Vladivostok. Trade wisely, or don’t; the index will trundle onward as relentless as bureaucracy. 🙄

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2025-08-11 17:26