In a world where blockchain meets bureaucracy, Ethereum co-founder Vitalik Buterin – who may or may not be part alien given his ability to think in eight dimensions at once – has unveiled his latest masterpiece: the FOCIL framework. Because apparently, Ethereum needs defending from itself, much like a chocolate teapot needs defending from enthusiastic mice.
- Vitalik invents FOCIL, which sounds like a racial slur but is actually Very Important Blockchain Stuff™
- 17 proposers per block slot now get to play musical chairs with transactions
- Ameen Soleimani nervously reminds everyone that lawyers exist and they’re scary
In what might be the most heroic stand since Gandalf faced the Balrog (but with marginally better WiFi), Buterin took to X formerly known as Twitter to defend Ethereum’s “dumb pipe” status. Because nothing says “trustless technology” quite like making your network infrastructure sound like it failed grade school.
Between sips of what we can only assume is rocket fuel (no human could produce this many ideas on regular coffee), Buterin declared:
“We must defend neutrality! First, keep the public mempool strong – which is blockchain for ‘keep the spigot open’. Second, build distributed block tech – blockchain for ‘let’s have all the builders fighting like kids in a ball pit’. Third, add more channels – blockchain for ‘if all else fails, throw spaghetti at the wall and see what sticks.'”
FOCIL: The “Oops All Proposers” Approach
This new framework turns Ethereum’s block production into something resembling a group project where everyone gets participation trophies. Instead of one lucky proposer per slot, now 17 get to play. One gets to be the bossy Type A leader organizing everything, while the other 16 just have to vaguely nod along.
“We’re making decentralization more decentralized!”
– vitalik.eth (@VitalikButerin) August 22, 2025 (probably while doing handstands)
The system cleverly distributes power like your aunt distributes holiday fruitcake – some get the good bits, others just pretend to participate. The 16 “non-privileged” proposers have workloads light enough they could probably validate transactions while binge-watching “The Office” for the eleventh time.
This whole scheme seeks to thwart the dreaded Block Builder Oligopoly™, currently consisting of approximately three people in hoodies operating out of a dorm room somewhere in Estonia.
Meanwhile, in Lawyertown…
Ameen Soleimani has entered the chat with everyone’s favorite party pooper: legal consequences. He suggests FOCIL might turn US validators into unwilling cartographers of the World’s Worst Travel Guide: “Places You Definitely Shouldn’t Send Crypto To (And Might Go To Jail For).”
Under current sanctions law, US validators could theoretically face more prison time than a Broadway musical has performances. Whereas currently they can filter transactions like picky toddlers refusing their vegetables, FOCIL would force-feed them the entire smorgasbord of transactions – sanctioned or not.
Buterin, eternally optimistic like a golden retriever who’s just discovered tennis balls, maintains that neutrality is worth potentially creating the world’s most niche federal criminal case. Because nothing says “revolutionary technology” quite like arguing about it in appellate court.
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2025-08-24 16:16