Hot gossip alert! 🚨 In 2025, the corporate world went full-on crypto crazy, stuffing their vaults with Bitcoin and Ethereum like it’s the new black. Here’s the lowdown on the top ten crypto hoarders-because who needs gold when you can have digital glitter? ✨
The Crypto Rich List: Bitcoin & Ethereum Edition
So, apparently, 2025 is the year everyone decided crypto is the new cool kid in town. After Strategy (formerly Microstrategy, but who’s keeping track? 🤷♀️) started the trend of corporate Bitcoin hoarding, everyone jumped on the bandwagon. Ethereum? Oh, they’re in on it too. As of Aug. 24, 2025, ten companies are sitting on 2,955,200 ETH, worth a cool $14.2 billion. Casual. 🤑
Ethereum: The New Corporate Arms Race 🏁
Leading the pack is Bitmine Immersion Tech, with 1.5 million ETH worth $7.29 billion. NYSE: BMNR is up 727% in six months, but oops, it slipped 12% in the last five days. Classic. 😬
Next up, Sharplink Gaming is holding 740,800 ETH, valued at $3.55 billion. Nasdaq: SBET is up 270% in 183 days, but down 7% recently. Rollercoaster much? 🎢
Third place goes to The Ether Machine (aka Dynamix Corporation, Nasdaq: DYNX), with 345,400 ETH worth $1.65 billion. They’re up 10% in six months, but dipped 0.37% recently. Small potatoes, really. 🥔
Bit Digital grabs fourth place with 120,300 ETH, worth $575 million. Nasdaq: BTBT is down 4% in six months and another 8.4% recently. Ouch. 😣
ETHZilla Corporation (Nasdaq: ETHZ) is fifth, with 94,700 ETH worth $453.2 million. Up 148% in six months, but down 51% in five days. Someone call a doctor, this stock needs a checkup! 🏥
Further down, BTCS Inc. has 70,000 ETH ($335 million), FG Nexus has 47,300 ETH ($226 million), and Gamesquare Holdings (esports, darling) has 15,600 ETH ($74 million). Small fish, big pond. 🐠
ETH Strategy takes ninth with 12,300 ETH ($59 million), and Intchains Group closes out the top ten with 8,800 ETH ($42.2 million). Altogether, they control 2.45% of circulating ETH. Not too shabby. 🤓
Bitcoin: Strategy’s Monopoly Game 🎲
In the Bitcoin arena, Strategy is the undisputed queen bee with 629,376 BTC, worth $72 billion. Nasdaq: MSTR is up 9% in six months, but down 3.7% recently. Still, they’re laughing all the way to the bank. 😂
MARA Holdings is a distant second with 50,639 BTC ($5.79 billion). Up 0.09% in six months, but hey, they’re trying. 🏆
XXI (Twenty One, fancy) ranks third with 43,514 BTC ($4.97 billion). Not publicly traded yet, but they’re prepping for their big debut. Break a leg! 🎭
Bitcoin Standard Treasury Company is fourth with 30,021 BTC ($3.43 billion). Also not listed yet, but they’re merging with Cantor Equity Partners I (CEPO). Drama! 🍿
Bullish (NYSE: BLSH) is fifth with 24,000 BTC ($2.74 billion). Up 88% since their debut, but down 6% recently. Welcome to the stock market, darling! 🎉
Rounding out the list: Riot Platforms (19,239 BTC), Metaplanet (18,888 BTC), Trump Media & Technology Group (15,000 BTC), Cleanspark (12,703 BTC), and Coinbase Global (11,776 BTC). Altogether, they control 855,156 BTC, worth over $97 billion. Crypto is the new black, folks. 🖤
Stats from strategicethreserve.xyz and bitcointreasuries.net, Aug. 24, 2025. Because numbers don’t lie, but they do make your head spin. 🤯
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2025-08-24 19:58