Bitcoin to $3.4M? Hayes’ Trump-Era Cash Flood Conspiracy 😂💸

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Arthur Hayes, that indefatigable crypto oracle and co-founder of BitMEX, has once again bestowed upon us a forecast so audacious it would make a Bond villain blush. In a world where the U.S. Federal Reserve has mastered the art of quantitative easing on steroids, Hayes posits that Bitcoin-yes, that digital ledger of yours-could ascend to a stratospheric $3.4 million by 2028. One might call it a financial storm; we prefer “the mother of all liquidity parties.” 🎉

The Trigger: Yield Curve Control

Hayes, ever the economic soothsayer, eyes Donald Trump’s hypothetical return with the enthusiasm of a toddler spotting confetti. His vision? A revival of “yield curve control,” a policy so avant-garde it might as well be economic alchemy. Under this grand design, the Fed would presumably print money with the vigor of a Las Vegas casino, conjuring $15 trillion in new credit by 2028. One wonders if they’ll monetize the moon next. 🌕

Hayes, with the solemnity of a man explaining why his pet iguana ate the neighbor’s cat, insists this deluge of cash won’t merely inflate bonds and stocks. No, it will elevate Bitcoin to celestial heights-assuming, of course, one believes in magic. Or central banks. Or both. 🪄

Arthur Hayes, with the gravitas of a man who has never owned a stock, predicts Bitcoin could soar to $3.4 million if the Fed, under Trump’s supposed yield curve control, prints $15 trillion. Because nothing says “stability” like turning the printing press into a espresso machine. ☕

– Wu Blockchain (@WuBlockchain) September 23, 2025

Why Bitcoin Stands Out?

Hayes, ever the contrarian, claims Bitcoin’s “directional” ascent hinges on its ability to outwit fiat currency’s death spiral. While dollars multiply like rabbits in a hedge fund, Bitcoin clings to its meager 21 million with the desperation of a monk guarding a sacred text. Scarcity, he insists, is the new black-though one suspects it’s also the new *everything*. 🖤

In this utopia of infinite money creation, Hayes envisions Bitcoin as the ultimate safe haven, a digital gold standard for those who forgot how to trust. History, he notes, is littered with the carcasses of currencies felled by excess printing. Bitcoin, he suggests, might just be the survivor. Or perhaps the hype beast. 🦁

Bitcoin Could Hit $3.4 Million

By 2028, Hayes imagines Bitcoin trading at $3.4 million-a figure so staggering it makes today’s $115,000 look like pocket change. One can almost hear the sound of Scrooge McDuck diving into a vault of BTC. Yet, amid the chaos, Hayes remains sanguine, framing Bitcoin not as a gamble but as a “shield” against the slow decay of traditional money. A shield, one hopes, with a warranty. 🛡️

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2025-09-23 14:39