Theresa Nist is reflecting on a troubling moment in her marriage to Gerry Turner.
The first star of The Golden Bachelor shared the story of his relationship with his chosen partner in his book, Golden Years. Now, she’s telling her side of the story, and recently revealed a disturbing memory from her past marriage.
Theresa shared on the November 4th episode of the Dear Shandy podcast that she eventually went to his house and they walked around Pretty Lake. As they were finishing their walk, he shockingly asked if she saw a shed in the distance. When she said yes, he chillingly told her that’s where he would hide her body if he ever killed and dismembered her.
Through her own giggles, Theresa noted, “He wasn’t laughing.”
When asked about her reaction, she remembered saying, “If he thought that was funny, it was a really morbid joke.”
Theresa initially thought her husband—who she separated from in April 2024—was joking, but she couldn’t quite dismiss what he said.
The 72-year-old said the statement felt hostile, as if the other person wished they could have removed him from the situation.
Despite everything, Theresa stated she didn’t believe he would have harmed her. She clarified it wasn’t about a real threat, but rather reflected deeper insecurities she had about herself.
TopMob News has contacted Gerry’s representatives for a response to Theresa’s statement, but they haven’t replied yet.
Gerry, who recently announced he’s engaged to Lana Sutton, has said his short marriage to Theresa ended because they weren’t compatible. He specifically mentioned that a major issue was his ex-wife’s desire to continue working instead of retiring, which he felt definitively ended their relationship.
Gerry recently told TopMob News that she had initially planned to stop working once she found the right partner, but later changed her mind. They attempted to resolve this difference of opinion and reach a solution together.
Despite their best efforts, they just couldn’t agree on what they wanted in life. He explained that he was looking for a partner who shared his passion for adventure and travel, something that wasn’t possible with someone focused on work.
For more on Gerry’s perspective, keep reading for the biggest bombshells from The Golden Years…
Losing his high school sweetheart, Toni, to a bacterial infection just weeks after they moved into their perfect lakeside home in 2017 was incredibly difficult for Gerry Turner. But it was even more heartbreaking when he later discovered she had been diagnosed with Type 2 diabetes, a diagnosis he learned only after her passing. Toni was the mother of Gerry’s daughters, Jenny Young and Angie Warner.
I still remember being completely overwhelmed with questions after Toni passed. It’s something he really opened up about in his 2025 memoir, Golden Years, and it’s stuck with me. He explained how diabetes, if not properly managed, puts so much strain on the body, especially the kidneys. I kept wondering if Toni could have lived longer if she’d gotten help, but maybe she didn’t want to bother anyone with her problems, thinking it was silly to complain. It really made me question if I’d unintentionally created an environment where she didn’t feel comfortable sharing something so important with me. Why couldn’t she talk to me about her diabetes?
Even though he couldn’t bring himself to stay in the house they’d picked out together in Indiana, he put up a beautiful picture of his wife of 43 years in his new home’s closet. He explained he wanted to see her face every morning while getting dressed.
He disagreed with a 2023 article in The Hollywood Reporter that detailed his life after retirement, including relationships he hadn’t mentioned on The Golden Bachelor. He claimed he hadn’t dated for over forty years, but admitted in his book, “They did get one thing right: I had met this woman at Toni’s funeral.”
He started dating and eventually moved in with a woman he felt a connection with, but admits he rushed things. He hadn’t been in a relationship since he was 18, and even if he’d been emotionally ready – which he wasn’t – that should have signaled him to slow down. Instead, he did the opposite.
Joan Vassos, who was set to be the Golden Bachelorette, decided to leave the show because her daughter was having a difficult time after giving birth. Gerry was understandably upset by this, even though he understood her reasons. He confessed, “I would be lying if I said I wasn’t heartbroken.” He had genuinely hoped Joan could be the person he’d spend his life with, and her departure was a major disappointment.
Several months after their breakup, she sent him a copy of a beautiful coffee table book by photographer Annie Leibovitz – one he’d mentioned he liked when they were together.
He admitted he still hoped to be a part of her life. Visiting her while she was giving out roses, he realized he was glad she was doing well, but also felt a pang of sadness, as he still had feelings for her.
Gerry found it especially difficult to eliminate Ellen Goltzer. Before meeting families, he knew he wanted to keep both Faith Martin and Leslie Fhima, but deciding between Ellen and the woman he would eventually marry, Theresa Nist, was a truly painful choice.
Honestly, both women seemed really great – kind, upbeat, and I couldn’t find anything at all to worry about with either of them. I genuinely thought either one could be an amazing partner for me. But I was completely exhausted and really up against it with work, so I knew I had to make a decision and, sadly, it was time to say goodbye to Ellen.
He said he ended things with her because he just didn’t feel a romantic connection. While he wasn’t completely certain Theresa was the one for him, he was even more certain Ellen wasn’t a good match.
Gerry said he was thrilled to be with Leslie, who would later finish second. However, he occasionally worried that her fast-paced lifestyle was a bit much.
He couldn’t decide between Leslie and Theresa, and started to worry that the fitness instructor’s two divorces suggested they had very different ideas about what commitment meant, which could cause problems for them later on.
Looking back, he realized his previous concerns about Leslie’s lack of commitment were misplaced. He now understands it wasn’t about her, but rather his own insecurity, contrasting sharply with Theresa’s unwavering devotion to her late husband – something he’d initially seen as a warning sign.
I truly believe he never intended to hurt her, and I know he feels awful about telling both Leslie and Faith he loved them back when they were in their hometowns. It was a mistake he really regrets, and you can tell it’s weighing on him.
He explained that he truly meant what he’d told Leslie and Faith. Looking back, though, he realizes that real love means giving yourself entirely to one person, and only that person. He felt he hadn’t done that with either Faith or Leslie, and that feeling still weighs on him.
After host Jesse Palmer invited them to spend a private night in the fantasy suite, Gerry became certain about his feelings for Theresa. They talked about their future together, including her plans to retire, and Gerry realized he’d found the woman he wanted to spend the rest of his life with. He said he knew, based on everything he’d learned about her, that she was the one.
But his decision to offer the final rose to the New Jersey resident was certainly a thorny one.
In his memoir, he explained that while Theresa initially seemed like the best choice based on logic, Leslie quickly became a strong possibility when he listened to his heart. He found himself torn between the two, caught between the comfort of something familiar and safe with Theresa, and the thrilling, but uncertain, potential of a relationship with Leslie.
Gerry and Theresa celebrated their engagement in Costa Rica with a special meal delivered to their room. The feast made Gerry realize that Theresa had all the qualities he desired in a partner – she was cheerful, thoughtful, and kind.
Once they were apart, though, they found it hard to connect. He admitted their nightly conversations felt strained, explaining that her voice and way of speaking didn’t change, whether she was discussing serious work issues or something as simple as getting breakfast.
Their secret weekend in New York City didn’t exactly spark romance. Gerry quickly discovered Theresa was very health-conscious, sticking to a diet with no sugar, which wasn’t to his taste.
He explained that fish and salad were the only things she seemed to eat. When he asked about getting groceries to give him energy, she told him she never ate food like that.
Gerry readily admitted he wasn’t familiar with the Kardashians. After the show, he was invited to dinner at Kris Jenner’s home, but he wasn’t worried at all. “I didn’t know anything about them,” he explained. In fact, he was so unaware that he jokingly suggested to the driver taking him to dinner that the Kardashians might be benefiting from their show’s success. The driver, understandably, was shocked.
Throughout the night, he spoke with Kendall Jenner’s boyfriend, Bad Bunny, and even had a conversation with Kris Jenner about hearing aids. However, he denied Kendall’s accusation that he was flirting with her mother. He explained, “That’s not true. I was just quickly caught up in her lively personality.”
Like the saying goes, every rose has its thorn, but Gerry’s relationship with Theresa felt overwhelmingly prickly. A major issue was Theresa telling him during a private date that she was ready to retire, only to later reveal she wanted to work another year to save more money. Gerry admitted he felt hurt and distrustful, writing, “I was a little resentful because her financial situation wasn’t what she’d said on the show,” and he started to question what else she hadn’t been truthful about.
He became annoyed by her daily $12 smoothie and her lack of cooking, explaining that she ate out or got takeout for most dinners – at least four or five nights a week.
He felt out of place in New Jersey, and she disliked the rural life in Indiana – she told Gerry she couldn’t imagine living somewhere so isolated. They had planned to move to South Carolina together, but he said she turned down every house he found in the $800,000 to $1.25 million price range, and instead wanted properties costing over $4 million.
On the November 4th, 2025 episode of the Dear Shandy podcast, Theresa confessed she wasn’t impressed with any of the houses he chose, but she disagreed with his accusation that she attempted to exceed their budget.
Even though Gerry had started to have doubts about Theresa as their wedding approached (“As it got closer and closer to our wedding date, my doubts about Theresa grew”), they went ahead with the ceremony and exchanged vows on television in January 2024.
Gerry, having worked with divorcing couples before, knew a prenuptial agreement was essential. He sent the documents to Theresa overnight, but grew anxious when she didn’t return them. On the Dear Shandy podcast, Theresa explained the delay was simply because she wasn’t sure which pages needed to be signed, and emphasized, “I told him, I would never take his money.”
While waiting for her signature, Gerry started to worry she would stall indefinitely, as he wrote in his book. Although she eventually signed the papers, the experience gave him serious doubts, and he realized they might have rushed into a lifelong commitment before getting to know each other better.
He knew there was nothing he could do to prevent the wedding, especially without embarrassing himself or Theresa. His only option was to accept the situation, stay silent, and proceed with the marriage, fully intending to do everything he could to make it work.
Gerry’s feet were still cold when he talked to Faith, the woman who received his first impression rose, at the rehearsal dinner.
I remember sitting with him, and he just completely opened up. He told me, ‘This wedding is a mistake. I really wish things were different, but I feel like I’m stuck – I can’t get out of it.’ Then Faith, she was incredible. She pointed at his chest and asked, straight to his face, ‘What are you doing? If you know it’s wrong, why are you doing it? That’s not the man I know.’
Despite knowing he shouldn’t, he went through with the wedding. He explained that a lifelong habit of trying to please others was too powerful to ignore. He felt obligated to everyone involved – his daughters, Theresa’s family, the wedding guests who had traveled, and the team who worked so hard to create a special day. Above all, he didn’t want to disappoint Theresa, even though he had concerns about how quickly their relationship was moving.
Though if you ask her, she’d rather have been a jilted bride than a divorcée.
She told Us Weekly that it deeply saddened her to learn he’d been feeling hopeless and stuck. She added that she wished he had reached out for help or simply communicated his feelings.
After Gerry and Theresa got married, it became clear she wasn’t interested in continuing a romantic connection, even privately. When Gerry visited her at home in New Jersey just a week after their wedding, he felt unwelcome and like he didn’t belong.
She suggested he sleep on the sofa because she had a busy workday ahead. He explained that he agreed with a simple ‘Yeah, no problem,’ but was secretly confused and hurt, thinking, ‘Why would she ask me that? We’re married!’
Theresa remembered things a little differently regarding her first night with Shandy. She said they did share a bed, but she couldn’t sleep because it had been a long time since she’d slept next to someone. She recalled Shandy offering to sleep on the couch, but emphasized she hadn’t asked him to do so.
He ended up staying on the couch for three nights and drove back to Indiana a day sooner than planned. Gerry observed that Theresa seemed like a different person compared to when they were in Costa Rica. While she had been comfortable and even initiated intimacy at the resort, she completely avoided it once they were back in the States.
Gerry and his wife met in Los Angeles after the finale of Joey Graziadei’s season in March 2024 to discuss their relationship. They both realized they had rushed into marriage and decided to separate.
Gerry explained that after a difficult long-distance relationship filled with stressful phone calls, their latest conversation felt completely different. He said they finally felt able to speak openly and honestly with each other, having overcome their biggest obstacle.
Even though Gerry’s daughters understood why he was getting a divorce, he still found it difficult. He primarily felt like he had let people down, explaining that he misread the situation and shouldn’t have rushed into marriage. He was caught in a cycle of negative thoughts, feeling like a failure and finding himself in a very low emotional state.
Reading about the breakup only made Gerry feel worse. He explained that while he chose not to publicly address the rumors, he wished Theresa had clarified a few things. He felt she could have easily said he was financially secure and that they had separated on good terms.
He described a time when he felt incredibly low, to the point where he didn’t want to face the day. One night, overwhelmed by everything, he briefly considered ending his life. But then he thought of his daughters, Jenny and Angie, and knew he couldn’t put them through that pain. He clarified he didn’t actually want to die, but rather felt a strong urge to escape his suffering. He was accustomed to pushing through difficult times, believing the pain would eventually subside, but this felt different – like it would never end.
Just two weeks after filing for divorce, Gerry called his wife to ask if he could talk to her for a moment. He shared that he was going through some health issues—he would later be diagnosed with a slow-growing cancer called Waldenström’s macroglobulinemia—even though they were in the process of separating.
He said he couldn’t recall what she said during the call, as Theresa hadn’t said much. He did remember, though, that she never followed up to see how he was or what was happening.
However, Gerry shared that he still hears from his former co-stars, Susan Noles and Kathy Swarts, quite often. He and Theresa, on the other hand, have completely stopped communicating. “We don’t talk anymore,” Gerry explained, “there’s just no reason to.”
Theresa mentioned she had experience caring for someone with serious health issues, as her late husband was partially paralyzed after a stroke. In a discussion on Dear Shandy, she expressed her hurt at the suggestion that she wouldn’t care for him, stating, “For him to say something, that anybody thinks that I wouldn’t care for my husband who got sick, that’s not me.”
As someone who follows these shows closely, I’ve been thinking a lot about Gerry’s journey on The Golden Bachelor. It seems like, after everything, he really questioned if Theresa was genuine in her intentions. He actually shared that the support he received from the women on the show – especially after getting engaged to Lana Sutton – was the biggest factor in helping him move forward. He felt they understood the situation with Theresa, recognizing the betrayal he felt because many of them had experienced similar disappointments themselves. It was incredibly powerful to see them all validate each other’s feelings and help Gerry heal.
What really made him question if Theresa was there for the right reasons was the rumor that several people saw her at the mansion reading a book titled How to Win The Bachelor.
Gerry wrote that seeing Theresa huddled on the couch, plotting how to get a rose, really bothered him. It made him realize she wasn’t there to find love, but simply to win the competition.
Really, said Theresa, her reading habits were born from pure curiosity.
Before appearing on the show, I signed up for a free trial of Audible and discovered a book called How to Win The Bachelor, she explained on the Dear Shandy podcast. I was surprised someone had actually written a guide on winning The Bachelor!
She began listening to the audiobook, but her free trial ran out after just one chapter. She added that it hadn’t crossed her mind at the show and didn’t influence her decision to attend at all.
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2025-11-05 20:22