Gerry Turner Says Ex Theresa Nist “Never Called” About His Cancer

Gerry Turner was navigating more than heartbreak after his breakup with Theresa Nist.

The former star of The Golden Bachelor revealed in his new memoir that he battled a rare type of bone marrow cancer during his divorce, and he was surprised by how Theresa reacted when he received the diagnosis.

In his book, Golden Years, he explained that he called his soon-to-be ex-wife, Theresa, on April 25th—two weeks after filing for divorce—to update her on his health. He felt it was unfair to keep her in the dark, since all of his close friends already knew what was going on.

The 74-year-old explained that he couldn’t recall what Theresa said during their phone call, as she didn’t say much. He does remember, however, that she never followed up to ask how he was or what was happening.

For Gerry, her alleged silence spoke louder than words.

He admitted he hadn’t expected much support from his wife, Theresa, or any of the other women he confided in. However, he was deeply hurt to realize she didn’t care about what he was going through, especially considering they had been married, even if only for a short time. They’ve since stopped speaking and have no desire to reconnect.

Theresa, who married Gerry in a televised ceremony in January 2024 and then announced their separation just three months later, remembers their phone call differently.

She recounted how he explained his prognosis: ‘My doctor said I’ll likely die of old age before the cancer becomes a problem.’ She added that he downplayed the seriousness of it, making it seem insignificant.

The 72-year-old added, “So it wasn’t as dire as he’s making this out.”

Theresa also stated that many of the claims made in Gerry’s book were false, specifically denying his claim that she made him sleep on the couch soon after they got married.

“He’s lying,” she insisted, explaining that Gerry had offered to sleep in another room to help her get used to their new sleeping situation. “Was he just trying to make a big deal out of it?”

For more from Gerry’s memoir, read on.

Losing Toni was… it was everything. She wasn’t just my wife, she was the mother of my girls, Jenny and Angie, and we’d just gotten settled into our perfect lake house. It happened so fast – a bacterial infection took her just weeks after we moved in. But finding out after she was gone… that she’d been battling Type 2 diabetes? That just broke me all over again. It was like another layer of grief, knowing she’d been fighting something silently while we were building our dream life together. It haunts me, honestly.

He wrote in his 2025 memoir, Golden Years: What I’ve Learned From Love, Loss, and Reality TV, that he was overwhelmed with questions and regrets. He realized that uncontrolled diabetes puts a strain on the body, especially the kidneys, and wondered if Toni might have lived longer if she’d sought help earlier. He questioned whether his own attitudes had discouraged her from sharing her health concerns, and why she hadn’t felt she could talk to him about something as serious as her diabetes.

Even though leaving their shared Indiana home was difficult, he put up a picture of his wife of 43 years in his new closet. He said he wanted to see her smiling face every morning while getting ready for the day.

He disagreed with a 2023 article in The Hollywood Reporter that detailed his life after retirement, including relationships he hadn’t mentioned on The Golden Bachelor. He claimed he hadn’t dated in over forty years, but admitted in his book, “They did get one thing right: I met her at Toni’s funeral.”

He started dating and eventually moved in with a woman he felt a connection with, but admits he rushed into things. He hadn’t been in a relationship since he was 18, and even if he’d been emotionally ready – which he wasn’t – that should have been a sign to take it slow. Instead, he did the opposite.

As a huge fan, I was so heartbroken to hear about Joan leaving ‘The Golden Bachelorette.’ It was completely understandable, of course – her daughter needed her during a tough time with postpartum issues – but Gerry was clearly devastated. He’s such a sweetheart, and he admitted it really hurt. He genuinely thought Joan could be the woman he’d spend his life with, and it was just so sad to see him feeling so down after she made the difficult decision to leave.

Several months after their breakup, she sent him a copy of a beautiful photography book by Annie Leibovitz – one he’d mentioned he liked when they were together.

He admitted he still hoped to be a part of her life. Visiting her while she was giving out roses, he felt a mix of emotions. He was glad to see Joan doing well, but also a little saddened, realizing a part of him would always care for her.

Gerry found it particularly difficult to eliminate Ellen Goltzer. Before meeting families, he knew keeping Faith Martin and Leslie Fhima was an easy choice, but deciding between Ellen and the woman he would eventually marry, Theresa Nist, was incredibly hard.

He described both potential partners as likeable and optimistic, and didn’t see any immediate concerns with either of them. He felt either one could make a great match. But, exhausted and pressed for time, he knew Ellen needed to move on.

He said he ended things with her because he just didn’t feel a romantic connection. While he wasn’t completely certain Theresa was the one for him, he was even more sure that Ellen wasn’t a good match.

Gerry said he was thrilled to be competing against Leslie, who would eventually finish second. However, he sometimes worried that Leslie’s fast-paced lifestyle might be a problem.

I couldn’t help but notice he was really torn between Leslie and Theresa, wondering which one he pictured when he thought about ‘Purple Rain.’ It made me think he was starting to realize that the fact the fitness instructor from Minnesota had been divorced twice wasn’t just bad luck – he was worried it meant they simply had different ideas about what a lasting relationship should be, and that would cause trouble for them eventually.

Looking back, he realized the issue wasn’t Leslie’s lack of dedication, but rather Gerry’s own insecurity, especially when contrasted with Theresa’s strong devotion to her late husband. He had initially seen it as a warning sign, but now understood it differently.

Oh my gosh, he never wanted to hurt her, not even a little bit! But honestly, it kills me that he admitted loving both Leslie and Faith back on their hometown dates. It just… it feels so wrong, even though I know he probably didn’t mean to cause any pain. I just wish he hadn’t said those words to both of them! It’s something I can’t get over.

He explained that he truly meant what he’d told Leslie and Faith. However, looking back, he realizes that real love requires complete and total devotion to one person only. He felt he hadn’t given that to either Faith or Leslie, and that regret still weighs on him.

As a lifestyle expert, I’ve seen firsthand how a change of scenery can really clarify feelings, and for Gerry on The Bachelor, that happened during the fantasy suite dates! Spending that one-on-one time with Theresa really solidified his feelings. They had deep conversations about their future – she even shared her plans to retire – and it led him to a powerful realization. He told us he truly believed he’d found the woman he couldn’t live without, and that’s a huge step! It’s amazing how connecting on a deeper level, and imagining a life together, can make you so certain about your feelings.

But his decision to offer the final rose to the New Jersey resident was certainly a thorny one.

In my memoir, I explained that while Theresa initially seemed like the most sensible choice, Leslie quickly became a strong possibility when I listened to my heart. I was torn between the two, endlessly weighing them against each other. It was a conflict between choosing something secure and comfortable, versus something thrilling but uncertain.

Gerry and Theresa celebrated their engagement in Costa Rica with a special meal delivered to their room. The feast reminded Gerry that Theresa possessed all the qualities he desired in a partner – she was cheerful, thoughtful, and kind.

Once they were apart, though, they found it hard to connect. He admitted their nightly conversations felt strained, explaining that her voice and way of speaking didn’t change, whether she was discussing serious work issues or something as simple as getting breakfast.

Their secret weekend getaway in New York City didn’t quite spark romance. Gerry quickly discovered Theresa was very health-conscious, requesting only sugar-free groceries – a lifestyle choice he wasn’t thrilled about.

He explained that fish and salad were almost all she ate. When he asked about getting groceries for energy, she told him, ‘I don’t eat food like that.’

Let me tell you, I’m not exactly glued to celebrity gossip, and that became hilariously clear when I found myself invited to dinner at Kris Jenner’s house after a show. Honestly, I wasn’t worried at all – I barely knew who the Kardashians were! In my naiveté, I actually suggested to the driver taking me there that maybe they were benefiting from us. You would have thought I’d grown a third eye – the look I got was priceless!

Throughout the night, he spoke with Kendall Jenner’s boyfriend, Bad Bunny, and even had a conversation with Kris about hearing aids. However, he denied Kendall’s accusation that he was flirting with her mother, stating, “That’s not true. I was just quickly caught up in her lively personality.”

Like the saying goes, every rose has its thorn, but Gerry’s relationship with Theresa felt overwhelmingly prickly. A major issue was Theresa telling him during a private date that she was ready to retire, only to later reveal she wanted to work another year to save for retirement. Gerry felt hurt and distrustful, writing, “I was frustrated because she hadn’t been honest about her financial situation on the show, and it made me question everything else she’d told me.”

He became annoyed by her daily $12 smoothies and her lack of cooking, estimating she ate out or ordered takeout for four to five dinners each week.

He didn’t feel settled in New Jersey, and she disliked the rural lifestyle in Indiana – she told Gerry she couldn’t imagine living there due to its isolation. They’d planned to find a home together in South Carolina, but he said she turned down every property he found in the $800,000 to $1.25 million price range, instead wanting much more expensive options costing over $4 million.

On the November 4th, 2025 episode of the Dear Shandy podcast, Theresa confessed she wasn’t fond of any of the houses he’d chosen, but she disagreed with his assertion that she’d attempted to exceed their budget.

Even though Gerry started having doubts about Theresa as their wedding approached, they went ahead with the televised ceremony in January 2024.

Gerry, having worked with divorcing couples before, knew a prenuptial agreement was essential. He sent the documents to Theresa overnight, but grew anxious as she didn’t return them. On the Dear Shandy podcast, Theresa explained the delay was simply because she wasn’t sure which pages needed to be signed, and emphasized, “I told him, I would never take his money.”

While waiting for her signature, Gerry started to fear she was deliberately delaying things, as he wrote in his book. Although she eventually signed, the uncertainty gave him serious doubts, and he realized they might have needed more time dating before making such a big commitment.

He knew there was nothing he could do to prevent the wedding, especially without embarrassing himself or Theresa. His only option was to accept the situation, stay silent, and proceed with the marriage, fully intending to do everything he could to make it work.

Oh my gosh, you guys, even though Gerry was still freezing from that first night, he actually got to talk to Faith – the one who got the first impression rose! – at the rehearsal dinner. It was so cute, even if he was probably shivering while he was at it. I just know there was a connection!

I told her everything, explaining how I felt. ‘This wedding is a mistake,’ I said. ‘I wish I could stop it, but I feel stuck and like I have no choice.’ Faith then pointed at my chest and asked, ‘Why are you doing this if you know it’s wrong? That doesn’t sound like you at all.’

Despite knowing he shouldn’t, he went through with the wedding. He explained that a lifelong habit of trying to please others was too powerful to ignore. He felt obligated to everyone involved – his daughters, Theresa’s family, the wedding guests who had traveled, and the team who worked so hard on the event. Above all, he didn’t want to disappoint Theresa, even though he had concerns about how quickly their relationship was moving.

Though if you ask her, she’d rather have been a jilted bride than a divorcée.

She told Us Weekly that it deeply saddened her to learn he felt so hopeless and stuck. She wished he had reached out for help instead of suffering in silence.

After Gerry and Theresa got married, it quickly became clear she wasn’t interested in continuing a romantic connection, even privately. When Gerry visited her at her home in New Jersey just a week after the wedding, he said he felt like an unwelcome guest, as if he didn’t belong there.

She suggested he sleep on the sofa because she had a busy day ahead, and that’s when a strange feeling started for him. He said he told her, “Sure, no problem,” but privately he was confused, wondering why she’d ask that – they were married, after all.

Theresa remembered things a little differently on the Dear Shandy podcast. She said they did share a bed the first night, but she couldn’t sleep because it had been a while since she’d slept next to someone. She recalled him offering to sleep on the couch, but emphasized that she hadn’t asked him to.

He ended up staying on the couch for three nights and drove back to Indiana a day sooner than planned. Gerry observed that Theresa seemed like a completely different person compared to when they were in Costa Rica. While she had been comfortable and even initiated intimacy at the resort, she completely avoided it once they were back in the States.

Gerry and his wife met in Los Angeles after the final episode of Joey Graziadei’s season aired in March 2024. During a conversation, they both confessed they’d rushed into marriage and decided to separate.

Gerry explained that, unlike their previous stressful phone calls during their long-distance relationship, this conversation felt completely different. He said they finally felt able to speak honestly with each other, now that they’d overcome their biggest obstacle. It was the most relaxed they’d ever been while talking.

Even though Gerry’s daughters understood why he was getting a divorce, he still found it difficult. He primarily felt like he’d let people down, explaining that he hadn’t accurately assessed the situation and had hurried into a marriage he wasn’t truly committed to. He was stuck in a cycle of negative thoughts, feeling like he’d failed repeatedly, and it left him feeling deeply depressed.

Seeing those headlines made Gerry feel even worse. He explained that while he chose not to publicly address the rumors, he wished Theresa had clarified a few things. Specifically, he felt she could have said he was financially secure and that they had separated amicably.

Honestly, hearing him talk about it… it broke my heart. He admitted there was a time he just couldn’t face the day, didn’t even want to get out of bed. He was lying awake one night, just staring at the ceiling, and he said it all just overwhelmed him. He actually thought about… well, about ending it all. But then he pictured his daughters, Jenny and Angie, and instantly knew he couldn’t do that to them. He clarified it wasn’t really about wanting to die, though. It was more like he just wanted to vanish, to escape. He’s always been someone who could push through anything, a real marathon runner with pain, believing it would eventually pass. But this… this felt different. He said it felt like it would never go away, and that’s what terrified him.

Just two weeks after filing for divorce, Gerry called his wife to ask if she had a moment to talk. He hadn’t been diagnosed with cancer yet – it was a slow-growing type called Waldenström’s macroglobulinemia – but he wanted to share what he was going through with her.

He said he couldn’t recall what she said during the call, noting that Theresa was very quiet. He did remember, however, that she never followed up to check on him or find out what had happened.

However, Gerry shared that he still hears from former colleagues Susan Noles and Kathy Swarts often. He and Theresa, on the other hand, have completely stopped speaking. “We don’t talk anymore,” Gerry explained, “there’s just no reason to.”

Theresa explained that she was very experienced in caring for someone with health issues, having been the primary caregiver for her late husband after he suffered a stroke that left him partially paralyzed. She expressed on the show Dear Shandy that she found it hurtful anyone would think she wouldn’t care for her sick husband, stating that it simply wasn’t in her nature.

Gerry was left questioning if Theresa joined The Golden Bachelor for genuine reasons. He shared, “The women on the show, as a group, actually helped me recover from a difficult time more than anything else.” Now engaged to Lana Sutton, Gerry explained that many of the women understood what had happened at the mansion and felt he’d been betrayed, which is why they all expressed a similar feeling of disappointment.

What really made him question Theresa’s motives was the rumor that she was spotted at the mansion with a copy of the book How to Win The Bachelor, suggesting she wasn’t there for genuine connections.

Gerry wrote that seeing Theresa huddled on the couch, carefully planning how to get a rose, really bothered him. It made him realize she wasn’t there to find love, but simply to win the competition.

Really, said Theresa, her reading habits were born from pure curiosity.

I signed up for a free trial of Audible before going on the show, and I was surprised to find a book called How to Win The Bachelor, she explained on the Dear Shandy podcast. It was wild to think someone actually wrote a guide for winning the show!

I started listening to the audiobook, but I only made it through the first chapter before my free trial ran out. Honestly, it didn’t even cross my mind when I went to the live show – it didn’t influence my decision at all.

2025-11-07 00:49

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