Theresa Nist wasn’t interested in dealing with a potentially thorny situation.
The contestant from The Golden Bachelor—who recently went through a divorce from season one’s Gerry Turner, as described in his very critical memoir—made a point of staying away from her ex-husband while at the season two finale party for Mel Owens.
Theresa shared on the November 14th episode of the Almost Famous podcast (according to UsWeekly) that she felt awkward while waiting with everyone before entering the audience. Once inside, she was seated some distance from a particular person, and at one point, it looked like he was walking directly towards her.
She wasn’t sure if he was upset, but he was walking in her group’s direction, so she simply walked away. She didn’t want to deal with a potentially negative interaction.
Even though her marriage recently ended, the 72-year-old, who separated from Gerry after just three months, says she genuinely wants him to be happy. As she explained to Ben Higgins and Ashley Iaconetti, she hopes he lives a fulfilling life, but she doesn’t need to be involved in it.
Despite maintaining a friendly relationship with her ex, Gerry has openly discussed his issues with her in his memoir, The Golden Years. He reportedly told runner-up Faith Martin just before his January 2024 wedding to Theresa that he had felt confined during their time together.
In fact, his feelings for runner-up Leslie Fhima were far stronger.
In his memoir, he explained that while Theresa initially seemed like the best choice based on logic, Leslie quickly became a strong contender when he listened to his heart. He found himself torn between the two, constantly weighing the comfort of the familiar with the thrill of something new and potentially uncertain. It was a choice between playing it safe with Theresa and taking a risk with Leslie.
Despite his concerns, Gerry decided to pursue a deeper connection with the senior liaison, Theresa, explaining, “I couldn’t bear to disappoint her, as I still loved her very much, even though I felt things were moving too quickly.”
However, Theresa slammed Gerry’s decision to meet her at the altar despite his concerns.
She recently shared on the Dear Shandy podcast that he hadn’t done her any favors by going through with a marriage he didn’t want. She wished he had canceled the wedding, explaining that their personal lives were more important than what anyone thought about their televised relationship.
She actually would have been thrilled for Gerry if he’d just been honest about his feelings for Leslie, saying she would have fully supported him and been genuinely happy for him.
She explained that he initially felt remorse, but then grew to resent being married to her. He attempted to salvage the relationship, but would react angrily to even minor things he perceived as wrong on her part.
And Theresa knows she made some missteps, too.
I’ve always believed in living without regrets, but I definitely made some errors in judgment,” Theresa admitted. “I really wish I hadn’t rushed into marriage. It was a mistake.”
To accept more revelations from Gerry’s book, read on.
Losing his high school sweetheart, Toni—and the mother of his daughters, Jenny Young and Angie Warner—to a bacterial infection just weeks after they settled into their dream home in 2017 was incredibly painful for Gerry Turner. However, he was even more devastated to learn, weeks after her passing, that she had been diagnosed with Type 2 diabetes.
He explained in his 2025 memoir, Golden Years: What I’ve Learned From Love, Loss, and Reality TV, that he was overwhelmed with questions after Toni’s passing. He wondered if her diabetes, which wasn’t properly managed, had put too much strain on her body, especially her kidneys. He also questioned if she might have lived longer if she hadn’t dismissed her health concerns as unimportant, and if he had somehow encouraged that attitude. He regretted that she hadn’t felt she could talk to him about something so serious.
Even though leaving their shared Indiana home was difficult, he put up a picture of his wife of 43 years in his new closet. He explained he wanted to see her beautiful face every morning while getting ready for the day.
He disagreed with a 2023 article in The Hollywood Reporter that detailed his life after retirement, including relationships he hadn’t mentioned on The Golden Bachelor. He claimed he hadn’t dated for over forty years, but admitted in his book, “They did get one thing right: I met her at Toni’s funeral.”
He started dating and eventually moved in with a woman he felt a connection with, but admits he rushed things. He hadn’t been in a relationship since he was 18, and even if he’d been emotionally ready – which he wasn’t – that should have signaled him to slow down. Instead, he did the opposite.
Joan Vassos, who was set to be the Golden Bachelorette, made the difficult decision to leave the show because her daughter was struggling after having a baby. Gerry was understandably upset by this, even though he understood her reasons. “I would be lying if I said I wasn’t heartbroken,” he shared. “I truly believed she could have been the one for me, and it was a really tough blow.”
Okay, so after everything went down – you know, the breakup – she actually sent him a copy of that gorgeous Annie Leibovitz book! He’d been obsessed with it, always flipping through it when they were alone together. It was such a specific thing, and honestly, it just proves she was paying attention to everything about him. I can’t believe she remembered! It’s totally a power move, but a really thoughtful one… I’m analyzing everything, obviously.
He admitted he still hoped to be part of her life. When he saw her giving out roses, he felt a mix of emotions. He was glad she seemed happy with how things were going, but also a little saddened, realizing a part of him would always care for her.
Oh my gosh, watching Gerry try to decide who to send home was brutal. It was so clear he really struggled with Ellen’s goodbye – you could just feel his pain. Before meeting families, he basically said keeping Faith and Leslie was a given, which, good for them! But the real drama? It was between Ellen and Theresa, his future wife. Honestly, it was heartbreaking to watch him call Ellen’s journey over, it felt like a soul-crushing decision for him.
He described both potential partners as likeable and optimistic, and saw no immediate concerns with either of them. He thought either person could make a great partner. Feeling exhausted and pressed for time, he realized it was time for Ellen to move on.
He said he ended things with her because he didn’t feel a romantic connection. While he wasn’t completely certain Theresa was the one for him, he was even more sure that Ellen wasn’t a good match.
I’ve been following Gerry’s story for a while now, and it’s fascinating. He told me he was just thrilled to be around Leslie, even though she eventually came in second. But honestly, he did confide in me that he sometimes worried her lifestyle – especially with her past relationship with that famous singer – was a bit too wild for her.
He couldn’t decide between Leslie and Theresa, and started to worry that the fitness instructor’s past two divorces suggested they had very different ideas about what commitment meant, which could cause problems for them later.
Looking back, he realized the issue wasn’t Leslie’s lack of commitment, but rather Gerry’s own insecurity. He had initially seen Theresa’s strong attachment to her late husband as a warning sign, but now understood it differently.
He didn’t intend to hurt her feelings, and he regrets telling both Leslie and Faith he loved them while they were back home.
He explained that he truly meant what he’d told Leslie and Faith. However, looking back, he realized that real love requires complete and total devotion to one person. He felt he hadn’t given that to either of them, and that guilt still weighs on him.
After host Jesse Palmer invited them to spend a night in the fantasy suite, Gerry realized how he felt about Theresa. They talked about their future together, including her plans to retire, and Gerry realized he was in love. He said he knew she was the woman he wanted to spend the rest of his life with.
But his decision to offer the final rose to the New Jersey resident was certainly a thorny one.
In his memoir, he explained that while Theresa initially seemed like the right choice – the one his head told him to make – Leslie quickly became a strong possibility when he listened to his heart. He found himself torn between the two, constantly weighing them against each other. He described it as a choice between something comfortable and known, and something thrilling but uncertain.
Gerry and Theresa celebrated their engagement in Costa Rica with a special meal delivered to their room. The feast reminded Gerry that Theresa had all the qualities he’d been hoping for in a partner – she was cheerful, thoughtful, and kind.
Once they were apart, though, they found it hard to connect. He admitted their evening phone calls became strained, explaining that her voice and manner didn’t change whether she was discussing serious work issues or something simple like getting breakfast.
Their secret weekend in New York City didn’t exactly spark romance. Gerry quickly discovered Theresa was very health-conscious, sticking to a completely sugar-free diet – a lifestyle choice he didn’t share, or particularly enjoy.
He explained that fish and salad were the only things she ate. When he asked about getting groceries to give him energy, she told him, ‘I don’t eat food like that.’
Gerry readily admitted he wasn’t a follower of the Kardashians. After the show, he was invited to Kris Jenner’s home for dinner, and he wasn’t worried at all. In fact, he confessed he knew very little about the family. While being driven to dinner, he innocently suggested to a member of the production team that the Kardashians might be benefiting from their show’s success. The driver was clearly shocked by the comment.
Throughout the night, he struck up conversations with Kendall Jenner’s boyfriend, Bad Bunny, and even talked to Kris Jenner about hearing aids. However, he denied Kendall’s accusation that he was flirting with her mother, stating, “That’s not true. I was just quickly caught up in her lively personality.”
Okay, so everyone says every relationship has its issues, but Gerry and Theresa’s? It was just covered in problems! The biggest one for me, honestly, was when she told him in the fantasy suite she was ready to retire, and then, like, completely flipped and said she needed another year to save for retirement. Gerry was SO right to be annoyed – he even said he felt resentful because she hadn’t been honest about her finances on the show! It just made him question everything she’d told him, and honestly, it makes me wonder what else wasn’t true. It was just… frustrating to watch!
He became annoyed by her daily $12 smoothies and her lack of cooking, estimating that she ate out or ordered takeout for four to five dinners each week.
He wasn’t happy living in New Jersey, and she disliked the rural life in Indiana – she told Gerry she couldn’t imagine living there because it felt too isolated. They had planned to move to South Carolina together, but he said she didn’t like any of the houses he found in the $800,000 to $1.25 million price range, and instead wanted properties costing over $4 million.
On the November 4th, 2025 episode of the Dear Shandy podcast, Theresa confessed she wasn’t fond of any of the houses he’d chosen, but she disagreed with his assertion that she had attempted to exceed their budget.
I watched as Gerry and Theresa moved forward with their wedding plans, even though he’d admitted he wasn’t seeing things as magically as he used to. He confessed that as the wedding got closer, he had more and more doubts about Theresa, but they still went through with their televised vows in January 2024. It was a strange thing to witness, honestly.
Gerry, having worked with divorcing couples before, knew a prenuptial agreement was essential. He sent the documents to Theresa overnight, but became anxious when she didn’t return them right away. On the Dear Shandy podcast, Theresa explained the delay was simply because she wasn’t sure which pages needed to be signed, and emphasized, “I told him, I would never take his money.”
While waiting for her signature, Gerry started to fear she would stall indefinitely, as he wrote in his book. Though she eventually signed, the experience gave him serious doubts, and he realized they might have rushed into a lifelong commitment before getting to know each other better.
He knew there was nothing he could do to prevent the wedding, especially without embarrassing himself or Theresa. His only option was to accept the situation, stay silent, and follow through with the commitment he’d made to try his best to have a happy marriage.
Gerry’s feet were still cold when he spoke with Faith, the woman who received his first impression rose, at the rehearsal dinner.
I told her everything, really opened up. I explained that going through with the wedding felt like a mistake. ‘I wish I could change things,’ I said, ‘but I feel stuck, like I have no choice.’ Faith then pointed at my chest and challenged me, ‘Why are you doing this if you know it’s wrong? That’s not the real you.’
Despite knowing he shouldn’t, he went through with the wedding. He explained that a lifelong habit of trying to please others was too powerful to ignore. He felt obligated to everyone involved – his daughters, Theresa’s family, the wedding guests and staff who had worked so hard – but especially to Theresa, whom he still loved deeply, even though he had concerns about how quickly their relationship was moving.
Though if you ask her, she’d rather have been a jilted bride than a divorcée.
She told Us Weekly that it was heartbreaking to learn he felt so hopeless and stuck. She wished he had reached out for help instead of suffering in silence.
After Gerry and Theresa got married, it quickly became clear she wasn’t interested in continuing a romantic connection. When Gerry visited her at her home in New Jersey just a week after the wedding, he felt unwelcome and like he didn’t belong.
She asked him to sleep on the sofa because she had a busy day ahead, and that surprised him. He said he told her, “Sure, no problem,” but what he was actually thinking was, “Wait, we’re married! Why are we sleeping on the sofa?”
Theresa remembered things a little differently on the Dear Shandy podcast. She said they did share a bed the first night, but she couldn’t sleep because it had been a while since she’d slept next to someone. She recalled him offering to sleep on the couch, saying, ‘Oh, I can sleep on the couch if you want me to.’ She emphasized that she hadn’t asked him to do so – he volunteered the offer himself.
He ended up staying on the couch for three nights and drove back to Indiana a day sooner than planned. As Gerry observed, Theresa seemed like a completely different person compared to when they were in Costa Rica. While she had been comfortable and even enthusiastic about intimacy at the resort, she completely avoided it when they returned home.
Gerry and his wife met in Los Angeles after the finale of Joey Graziadei’s season in March 2024 to discuss their relationship. They both realized they’d rushed into marriage and decided to separate.
Gerry explained that, unlike their often stressful phone calls during their long-distance relationship, this conversation was the most comfortable they’d ever had. He said that once they finally addressed the last difficult topic, they were able to speak openly and honestly with each other.
Even though Gerry’s daughters understood why he was getting a divorce, he still found it difficult. He admitted he felt like a failure, explaining that he hadn’t accurately assessed the situation and had hurried into a marriage he wasn’t sure about. He was stuck in a cycle of negative thoughts and felt deeply unhappy.
Reading about the breakup only made Gerry feel worse. He explained that while he chose not to publicly respond to the claims, he wished Theresa had clarified a few things. Specifically, he thought she could have said he was financially secure and that they had separated on good terms, as a mutual decision.
He described hitting rock bottom, saying he didn’t even have the energy to get out of bed. One night, overwhelmed by everything, he briefly considered ending his life. But the thought of his daughters, Jenny and Angie, stopped him. He realized he couldn’t do that to them. He explained that while he didn’t actually want to die, the suicidal thoughts were a way of expressing his desperate need to escape. He was used to pushing through pain, believing it would eventually subside, but this felt different – like it would never end.
Just two weeks after filing for divorce, Gerry called his wife to talk. He shared that he was dealing with some health issues – a type of slow-growing cancer called Waldenström’s macroglobulinemia – even though he hadn’t officially received the diagnosis yet.
He said he couldn’t recall what she said during the call, as Theresa hadn’t said much. He did remember, however, that she never followed up to check on him or find out what had happened.
Unlike some former colleagues, Gerry shared that Susan Noles and Kathy Swarts still keep in touch with him regularly. However, he and Theresa have completely fallen out of contact. “We don’t speak anymore,” Gerry explained, “there’s just no reason to.”
Theresa explained that she was very experienced in caring for someone with serious health issues, having been the primary caregiver for her husband after he suffered a stroke that left him partially paralyzed. In a post on Dear Shandy, she expressed her disbelief that anyone would question her dedication to her husband, stating, “The idea that anyone thinks I wouldn’t care for my sick husband is just not who I am.”
Gerry was left questioning if Theresa joined The Golden Bachelor for genuine reasons. He shared that the support of the women on the show was actually more helpful in overcoming a difficult time than anything else. He explained that many of them understood what had happened at the mansion – and felt betrayed themselves – and they all expressed that feeling together. Gerry is now engaged to Lana Sutton.
What really made him question Theresa’s motives was learning that several people had seen her at the mansion with a copy of the book, How to Win The Bachelor. It seemed like she wasn’t just there to make friends.
Gerry wrote that seeing Theresa huddled on the couch, carefully planning how to get a rose, really bothered him. It made him realize she didn’t seem interested in finding love, just in winning the competition.
Really, said Theresa, her reading habits were born from pure curiosity.
I signed up for a free trial of Audible before going on the show, and I was surprised to find a book called How to Win The Bachelor, she explained on the Dear Shandy podcast. I thought, ‘Wow, someone actually wrote a guide to winning The Bachelor!’
She began listening to the audiobook, but her free trial ran out after just one chapter. She added that it hadn’t crossed her mind at the show and didn’t influence her decision to attend at all.
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2025-11-18 17:50