Darling, Bitmine Immersion-that delightful financial menagerie helmed by the ever-charming Tom Lee-has now ensnared a positively scandalous 3.4% of Ethereum‘s circulating supply. While Bitmine swans about as one of ETH’s grandest hoarders, exchange supplies have dwindled to a mere 16.3 million coins-barely enough to keep the crypto glitterati amused over cocktails. 🍸
And yet, despite this glorious accumulation, Ethereum’s price has slipped a tragic 4%, languishing below $3,200 like a debutante caught in the rain without her parasol. 🌧️
Bitmine’s ETH Stash: A Masterclass in Greed (or Genius?)
According to the latest figures-which, darling, are always correct-Bitmine now lords over 4.167 million ETH, a sum worth approximately $13.32 billion. That’s enough to buy several small countries, or at least a very large yacht. ⛵

Tom Lee’s slow, methodical accumulation suggests either a visionary long-term strategy or a man who simply refuses to stop buying ETH until his vaults overflow. Other institutions, like Sharplink, dabble in mere millions (864,000 ETH, to be precise-how quaint). Meanwhile, spot Ethereum ETFs have vacuumed up $19.7 billion, because apparently, the rich also enjoy a good feeding frenzy. 🤑
Exchanges Running on Fumes (And Prayers)
With institutions hoarding ETH like misers with a particularly shiny penny, exchange balances have shrunk to a paltry 16.3 million coins. At this rate, traders will soon be reduced to bartering IOUs written on cocktail napkins. 📉

Fewer coins mean higher prices-or at least, that’s what the optimists whisper between martinis. But will ETH ever recover from its current slump? Only time, darling, will tell. ⏳
Ethereum’s Price: A Tragedy in Three Acts
Despite Bitmine’s heroic efforts to corner the market, ETH’s price has slumped-likely due to geopolitical tensions, Donald Trump’s tariff tantrums, or perhaps just cosmic indifference. Yet, traders insist the charts look divine, with falling wedges, double bottoms, and momentum that’s practically glowing. ✨
The key level? $3,300-hold that, and ETH might just waltz its way to $4,000. Lose it, and well… darling, let’s not dwell on such unpleasant possibilities. 🎭
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2026-01-19 11:22