March Madness: Stocks to Soar as Bombs Burst in Air!

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Ah, behold the sage of Fundstrat, one Tom Lee, who doth proclaim with utmost confidence that March shall be an “up month” for the fickle stock market, despite the world teetering on the brink of chaos, thanks to the fireworks between the US, Israel, and Iran. A true optimist, is he not?

In a most enlightening discourse with CNBC, our dear Lee foretells that the worst of the war-induced sell-off shall pass this very week. Pray, let us clutch our purses and hope he speaks true!

“Good sirs and madams, none among us delight in headlines of explosions and war, for they do cause the risk premium to leap like a frightened hare – hence the VIX doth jump. Yet, fear not, for the fundamentals of the US remain as steadfast as a Molière farce, and history doth show that markets, like fickle lovers, sell off in the buildup but rally once the swords are drawn. ’Tis a pattern, I say, and this time shall be no different!”

Ah, the VIX, that fickle index of volatility, doth rise by more than 5% on this fine Monday. A mere hiccup, says Lee, for the Magnificent 7, those titans of the market, along with software and crypto, have but stumbled and are now in the final act of their tragicomic fall-or so he claims.

“Mark my words, the software stocks, once so lofty, have tumbled back to their April levels. An overreaction, I declare! ’Tis as if the market hath mistaken a summer breeze for a tempest. Thus, it stands to reason that these poor souls shall revert to their former glory, including the vaunted Mag 7.”

And so, dear reader, as the world burns, shall we heed Lee’s words and invest with zeal? Or shall we laugh, as Molière might, at the folly of it all? The choice, alas, is yours.

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2026-03-02 21:41