I’m Vicky Pattison and this is why we need to stop saying ‘geriatric pregnancy’ and make egg freezing more affordable

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When I was in my twenties, I was focused on my career and didn’t prioritize having children. I also wasn’t as self-aware or emotionally healthy as I am now. Growing up with an alcoholic parent created a lot of instability and chaos, which deeply affected me. In my early adult years, I experienced unhealthy relationships and heartbreak. It took years of therapy to become the person I am today.

I didn’t feel prepared for motherhood, even though I was in my early thirties. There’s a natural biological limit to when people can have children, and that won’t change easily. However, we can address the criticism often directed at women who decide to have children later in life.

Hilary Swank faced criticism after having twins at 48, with people questioning her ability to balance motherhood and her career. It felt unfair because when older actors like Robert De Niro (79) and Al Pacino (83) became fathers, it was accepted without the same judgment, despite the significant age difference – over 30 years – compared to Swank.

Let’s stop judging women for their life choices and start supporting them, no matter what they decide. This includes having kids young, waiting until they’re older, exploring different ways to become mothers, or choosing not to have children at all.

In the UK last year, nearly 20% of babies were born to mothers between 35 and 39 years old. This isn’t surprising considering the challenges many women face – balancing careers, finding stable relationships, and dealing with significant student loan debt and high housing costs. Even as the gender pay gap narrows, women still shoulder a disproportionate amount of household responsibilities, which delays starting a family.

Three years ago, my husband Ercan and I decided I should freeze my eggs to preserve my fertility for the future. I was 35 and felt healthy and young, but that’s when I first learned about the term “geriatric pregnancy” – a label doctors use for pregnancies after a woman turns 35.

Hearing my eggs described as ‘geriatric’ was upsetting – I pictured them as little old ladies with walkers! It felt really hurtful and like a deliberately negative way to talk about age and fertility. While it’s true that getting pregnant is more challenging at 40 than at 30, using that kind of language just adds to the anxiety and isn’t helpful at all.

This issue is part of a larger problem of bias against women within the National Health Service. I’ve personally dealt with Premenstrual Dysphoric Disorder (PMDD) for many years. It affects me severely, causing extreme tiredness, lack of energy, worry, difficulty concentrating, feelings of despair, and negative thoughts. However, before my diagnosis five years ago, my concerns were often dismissed and I was told I was exaggerating.

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I’m working to improve support and funding for women, and to encourage more empathy and understanding. I’ve already discussed this with Health Secretary Wes Streeting, and I’m hopeful my platform can help make a difference.

I strongly believe egg freezing should be more accessible and that we need to talk about it more openly. Every woman deserves the peace of mind and options that having this backup plan can provide. However, I faced a lot of criticism for choosing to freeze my eggs, with people online making harsh comments like, “Just have a baby now!” or, “If your partner doesn’t want children with you now, they never will.”

In my new documentary, Vicky Pattison: Maybe, Baby?, Ercan and I are thinking about having a family and looking into different ways to become parents. We talk to women who’ve had children through surrogacy and adoption. It’s great to see these options being openly discussed and celebrated.

We should all be more supportive and understanding of women, no matter what decisions they make or when they make them. Open, honest conversations and genuine empathy are key.

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Vicky Pattison

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2026-03-23 21:13