Where Caroline Muirhead of Should I Marry a Murderer? Is Now

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Caroline Muirhead was pleased and felt honored that her fiancé had confided such a significant secret in her.

She says in the new Netflix documentary, Should I Marry a Murderer?, that the experience felt special, even though she recognized it was terribly wrong.

In November 2020, after agreeing to marry her, Alexander “Sandy” McKellar confessed to a past crime: several years earlier, he’d accidentally hit a cyclist with his car on a dark road in the Scottish Highlands. Scared of the repercussions, Sandy and his twin brother, Robert McKellar, buried the cyclist’s body.

“‘He’s on the estate,'” Caroline recalled Sandy telling her. “‘You jog past him every day.'”

Although she was shocked at first, she told him she loved him and that everyone makes mistakes sometimes.

She then came up with a series of excuses for not going to police right away.

When Sandy mentioned a developer would be digging up the estate grounds, and then began asking how long it would take to burn a body, Caroline said she suddenly started to doubt everything she thought she knew.

She was particularly curious if Sandy had matched with her on Tinder because her profile mentioned she was a pathologist – someone who studies dead bodies.

She remembered thinking at the time that what seemed like a simple hit-and-run was actually a far more serious incident.

Sandy is in prison for 12 years after admitting to manslaughter. However, Caroline initially didn’t know the truth that a new three-part Netflix series explores.

She admitted it might seem strange, but you can’t simply stop caring for someone, even if they’ve done something awful.

Here’s what you need to know about the shocking story behind Should I Marry a Murderer?

Caroline Muirhead first encountered Sandy McKellar in early October 2020, shortly after a difficult breakup, as she explained in the Netflix documentary Should I Marry a Murderer?

The pathologist, 29 at the time and living in Glasgow, met Sandy on Tinder. Sandy was a tall gamekeeper and hunting agent – six feet four inches tall – who lived on the Auch Estate in Argyll, more than 80 miles away.

I’m so thrilled to share that Caroline and Sandy really connected! Soon, she was escaping to the beautiful Scottish Highlands every weekend to be with him, and things moved quickly. He actually announced their engagement on Facebook on November 28th, 2020 – it was a lovely surprise!

After telling her loved ones, Caroline realized she should ask her partner if he was hiding anything. As she explained in the documentary, she thought, “Now’s the time to find out if there’s something I need to know.”

Sandy remembered pulling over and then recounting how he and his twin brother, Robert McKellar, had been driving home to the Auch Estate after a hunting trip at the Bridge of Orchy Hotel a few years ago. He explained that he’d been temporarily blinded by a truck’s headlights and, as a result, hit a cyclist.

Caroline remembered Sandy telling her, “There’s absolutely no way he could have survived.” Then, Sandy and Robert buried the body on their property.

Once Sandy was asleep, Caroline learned about Anthony Parsons, a 63-year-old veteran of the Royal Navy and a prostate cancer survivor. He was cycling 100 miles across Scotland for charity when he disappeared. He was last seen on September 29, 2017, near the Bridge of Orchy.

In August 2025, Tony’s son, Mike Parsons, told BBC Scotland News that he’d sent his father a text, reflecting their shared sense of humor: simply, ‘Are you still alive?’ He later reflected that it’s upsetting to realize that was the last message he ever sent, knowing his father had already passed away.

Mike described him as a bit of a grumpy, old-fashioned father – someone you’d occasionally disagree with. But he hoped people would remember him as someone who genuinely wanted to help others.

Okay, so the next day, Caroline just had to go to work. I can just imagine her thinking, ‘I absolutely HAVE to pull it together and get through this, I can’t just fall apart!’ It’s like, everything was falling to pieces, but she was determined to keep going, you know? It’s so her, honestly. She’s so strong, even when she’s clearly falling apart inside. She just kept repeating to herself that she needed to focus on work, that she couldn’t let everything collapse around her. It was heartbreaking, but also…inspiring? I just feel everything so intensely for her.

I wasn’t ready to go to the police yet,” she said. “I still couldn’t fully process what I’d heard.

She introduced Sandy to her parents as they’d agreed, telling herself she just needed to survive Christmas before addressing whatever came next.

Caroline remembered how quickly he became part of the family. She worried that saying anything negative would ruin that happiness. ‘You don’t choose who you fall in love with,’ she explained.

Sandy told Caroline after Christmas that the new owner of the Auch Estate planned to build very close to an old gravesite, and he was asking for Caroline’s assistance.

Honestly, hearing Caroline talk about how he asked her about burning a body just broke my heart. It made me instantly question everything – did he ever care about her, or was I witnessing a calculated effort to manipulate her? It felt like he was always trying to position himself to have power over her, and it’s terrifying to think he might have never had genuine feelings at all.

Caroline went back to her parents’ house and called police.

On December 30, 2020, Sandy and Robert were arrested and suspected of causing a death while driving carelessly under the influence of alcohol or drugs. When questioned by police about a 2017 accident involving a cyclist, Sandy chose not to answer.

Before his arrest, Caroline convinced Sandy to take her to where the body was buried. They walked to a secluded spot that, according to Caroline, didn’t have any landmarks to distinguish it.

She said she waited for Sandy to look away, then stomped an empty Red Bull can into the ground to mark the spot.

Investigators eventually located the can and began excavating the surrounding area. However, without any supporting evidence beyond Caroline’s initial, anonymous tip, the McKellar brothers were let go from police custody.

Parsons was found dead on January 12, 2021. When Sandy learned the body was discovered near a sugar-free Red Bull can, he instantly knew it was his fiancée.

Caroline stated that he called and immediately began yelling, using extremely offensive language and accusing her of wrongdoing.

When he arrived at her apartment, Sandy apologized for getting her caught up in everything, and she realized again why she had fallen in love with him – he was so kind and considerate.

She returned to the estate, aware another arrest was likely, feeling as though she and Sandy had been living in a self-deceived world.

You know, even after everything, Robert did take her back. Though, to be honest, he described the whole thing as a really messy and complicated situation – and that’s putting it mildly!

The medical examiner determined that Parsons died from severe injuries caused by being hit by a vehicle. He didn’t die immediately upon impact.

According to David Green, former Head of Homicide and Major Crime in Scotland, murder in Scotland can be committed either deliberately or through a dangerous disregard for life – essentially, not caring if someone lives or dies. He described the McKellars’ actions – specifically, their failure to seek help – as incredibly callous, beyond anything he had ever seen.

Sandy was arrested Dec. 1, 2021, and charged with murder.

Sandy’s lawyer, Brian McConnachie, said Sandy wanted to admit to causing death by dangerous driving. However, prosecutors refused this offer and decided to pursue a murder charge instead, which Sandy denied.

It was really tough seeing Caroline go through everything. She had to take time off work and move back home with her parents. She told me, in a document she shared, that she started meticulously recording everything happening around her, just to feel grounded and make sure she still knew what was real. It was her way of holding onto herself during a really disorienting time.

Instead of going to court to testify in July 2023, she went to Sandy’s property, intent on locating Parsons’ bicycle, which was still missing.

She remembered thinking to herself, “I’m not thinking clearly.” She went to the barn, found a tractor, and drove towards a nearby lake. Her plan was to search for the bike if it was still there.

She explained that the cold water had unexpectedly brought on strong emotions. ‘I feel like I’ve ruined my life,’ she said, ‘all for a man who committed a terrible act. The sadness, the loss, and the pressure of everything finally led to a breaking point.’

She was arrested for contempt of court and jailed.

Prosecutors subsequently accepted Sandy’s plea to culpable homicide.

Robert, age 31, received a 12-year prison sentence on August 25, 2023, after pleading guilty to attempting to obstruct justice. Scotland’s Crown Office and Procurator Fiscal Service reported he was sentenced to five years and three months for the offense.

According to prosecutor Ruth McQuaid, the brothers tried and failed to avoid facing justice for what she described as cruel and carefully planned crimes. These actions caused immense suffering to Mr. Parsons’ family, including his wife, children, and grandchildren.

Robert’s lawyer stated that his client was overly loyal to his brother and now deeply regrets his cruel and cowardly behavior.

In court, McConnachie, representing Sandy, stated that his client acknowledges Mr. Parsons was still alive when he was severely injured. He explained that Sandy’s actions were due to fear and panic.

According to his statement, he admits he was too afraid to tell the truth. He acknowledges that Caroline did the right thing by going to the police after they met.

Mike Parsons, the son of the man who went missing, told BBC News Scotland he was incredibly grateful for Caroline’s help in discovering what happened to his father.

Caroline shared in the doc that she moved to the Scottish coast to start over.

I’m now sober and seeing a psychiatrist to address the insecurities that made me susceptible to that unhealthy relationship in the first place.

She said things were going really well with her family, and she was dating someone very kind.

“When you love yourself,” Caroline observed, “you will attract healthy love.”

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2026-04-29 13:18