SpaceX, space’s most chaotic startup, just moved 281 Bitcoin (31m-switch-in-a-pocket million) into a new wallet, inevitably causing a crypto coup. According to blockchain detectives like Lookonchain (hello, Sherlock Holmes of the blockchain!), this is SpaceX’s third Bitcoin heist in ten days.
”They transferred 281 BTC-probably to pay for snacks in Mars orbit,” sarcasm.
Last time anyone moved this much crypto, the market spun out like a wet dog in a hamster wheel.
”@SpaceX just moved 281 $BTC ($31.28M)-custody, thy name is chaos.”
– Lookonchain (@lookonchain) Oct 30, 2025 🚀💸
Current data says SpaceX holds 7,258 BTC-$798m in cosmic loot. Last year, their Bitcoin wallet was richer than a 24k gold-plated space dragon. Now? Stacking(go?) bags like they’re Prada-tight pants.
Earlier this year, they moved $133m in BTC across wallets, leaving analysts scratching their heads like “are these holders or are they doing an actual treasure hunt?” New wallets, y’all. Not even labeled as “Spaced Out.” Space out, indeed-
Tesla’s Bitcoin Misadventures
Tesla, the 2nd Muskverse experiment, currently has 11,509 BTC-enough to buy a teapot on the Moon and call it a day ☕. Their Bitcoin odyssey peaked at $1.6b, then dipped lower than a spacesuit in a black hole.
”Recorded 600m in profits-probably just resetting the crypto’s Fortune 500 résumé.”
Last October, they moved $760m and have been radio silent since. Quiet as a supernova’s whisper.
Meanwhile, crypto whales are still living it up like the market crash never happened. One trader opened a 40x BTC bet worth $19.94m-because why not? Another staked 4k Ethereum on Hyperliquid, betting 25x the price.
”Beaches and Champagne? No, just crypto whales winning at life.” 🌮
”Whales are bullish-like bulls in a crypto casino, but with better odds.”
– Lookonchain (again, plugging the crypto detective gig) Oct 30, 2025 🦖🚀
Bitcoin’s down 3.83% in 24 hours. The whole market’s worth $3.68t-barely enough to fund a Mars trip and the inevitable PG-13-rated martian movie.
So, is SpaceX selling? Probably not. They’re just rearranging their cosmic cache. But hey, if this sparks a market panic, at least we all get to relive that 2022 crypto crash drama-and where’s the fun in not panicking?
SpaceX, space’s most chaotic startup, just moved 281 Bitcoin (31m-switch-in-a-pocket million) into a new wallet, inevitably causing a crypto coup. According to blockchain detectives like Lookonchain (hello, Sherlock Holmes of the blockchain!), this is SpaceX’s third Bitcoin heist in ten days.
”They transferred 281 BTC-probably to pay for snacks in Mars orbit,” sarcasm.
Last time anyone moved this much crypto, the market spun out like a wet dog in a hamster wheel.
”@SpaceX just moved 281 $BTC ($31.28M)-custody, thy name is chaos.”
– Lookonchain (@lookonchain) Oct 30, 2025 🚀💸
Current data says SpaceX holds 7,258 BTC-$798m in cosmic loot. Last year, their Bitcoin wallet was richer than a 24k gold-plated space dragon. Now? Stacking(go?) bags like they’re Prada-tight pants.
Earlier this year, they moved $133m in BTC across wallets, leaving analysts scratching their heads like “are these holders or are they doing an actual treasure hunt?” New wallets, y’all. Not even labeled as “Spaced Out.” Space out, indeed-
Tesla’s Bitcoin Misadventures
Tesla, the 2nd Muskverse experiment, currently has 11,509 BTC-enough to buy a teapot on the Moon and call it a day ☕. Their Bitcoin odyssey peaked at $1.6b, then dipped lower than a spacesuit in a black hole.
”Recorded 600m in profits-probably just resetting the crypto’s Fortune 500 résumé.”
Last October, they moved $760m and have been radio silent since. Quiet as a supernova’s whisper.
Meanwhile, crypto whales are still living it up like the market crash never happened. One trader opened a 40x BTC bet worth $19.94m-because why not? Another staked 4k Ethereum on Hyperliquid, betting 25x the price.
”Beaches and Champagne? No, just crypto whales winning at life.” 🌮
”Whales are bullish-like bulls in a crypto casino, but with better odds.”
– Lookonchain (again, plugging the crypto detective gig) Oct 30, 2025 🦖🚀
Bitcoin’s down 3.83% in 24 hours. The whole market’s worth $3.68t-barely enough to fund a Mars trip and the inevitable PG-13-rated martian movie.
So, is SpaceX selling? Probably not. They’re just rearranging their cosmic cache. But hey, if this sparks a market panic, at least we all get to relive that 2022 crypto crash drama-and where’s the fun in not panicking?
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2025-10-30 09:43