FTX’s $1.9B Payout: A Tragicomic Cash-Back Special 😂💸

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FTX, the crypto titan that once promised financial utopia, has finally decided to hand back some of your money—$1.9 billion of it, to be exact. Mark your calendars for September 30, 2025, when the exchange will distribute funds like it’s handing out free hugs at a Black Friday sale. August 15 is the official “prove-you’re-not-a-robot” deadline.

The payout will include Class 5 Customer Entitlement Claims (because “entitlement” is now a technical term), Class 6 General Unsecured Claims (because nothing says “security” like “unsecured”), and those shiny new Convenience Claims that haven’t yet been claimed. Think of it as a treasure hunt, but with more paperwork.

FTX Announces Next Repayment Date

Courts have blessed this move by slashing the disputed claims reserve by $1.9 billion, which is either a math miracle or a typo. Either way, more money is now available for distribution—because nothing says “trust” like a bankruptcy.

BitGo, Kraken, and Payoneer will handle the payments, because why let the little people manage their own money? Creditors must now perform a red tape ballet: complete KYC, submit tax forms, and onboard with one of the approved providers. It’s like applying for a passport, but with more existential dread.

This marks the third glorious payout of 2025. Three times they’ve tried to return your money. Three times you’ve had to jump through hoops like a circus act.

Meanwhile, $470 million in disputed claims remain frozen, including funds from 49 countries. Because why not make this a global soap opera? Future court decisions will decide their fate, but don’t hold your breath—judges have their own deadlines to miss.

Restricted Jurisdictions

Made a quick video about the FTX hearing about the restricted jurisdictions motion

49 Countries are impacted
$470m FTX Claims
90 Objection letters were received

— Sunil (FTX Creditor Champion) (@sunil_trades) July 23, 2025

Recap of FTX’s 2025 Repayments So Far

FTX began repayments earlier this year, aiming to return over $14.5 billion to creditors. Because nothing says “rebirth” like returning money you stole.

On February 18, FTX handed out 100% of claims (plus ~9% interest) to Convenience Class claimants (those with under $50k). Because even in bankruptcy, they can’t resist adding a little “interest.”

May 30 saw a $5 billion distribution, which is either a generous gesture or a public relations stunt. The September 30 drop will target creditors who’ve “resolved disputes” and “cleared legal hurdles”—code for “good luck, have a nice day.”

FTX insists only “approved and registered claims” will be eligible. If you transferred your claim, congrats! Now you get to play a bureaucratic game of Whack-a-Mole before August 15.

Sam Bankman-Fried, the man who once made “effective altruism” sound like a get-rich-quick scheme, remains in prison. He recently earned a 4-year sentence reduction for “good behavior.” Don’t worry—he’ll probably be out by 2044, just in time to manage your retirement fund.

Caroline Ellison, ex-CEO of Alameda Research, is set for release on July 20, 2026. Because everyone deserves a second chance… to write a tell-all memoir.

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2025-07-24 03:11