Cook was dispatched from her Federal Reserve perch by Trump on Monday, following the latest episode in the ever-popular White House pastime: “Pin the Fraud on the Governor.” The president’s trusty sidekick at the Federal Housing Finance Agency had recently accused Cook of mortgage shenanigans. Pigs might fly, but apparently so do mortgage fraud allegations these days.
Legal Fireworks Fizzle: Zero Bangs, Maximum Sighs at Lisa Cook’s Day in Court
The rabble had gathered with the sort of expectant tension usually reserved for the final chukka of the Cowes Regatta, all in hopes of witnessing a ruling from Judge Jia Cobb. Lisa Cook, our beleaguered Fed Governor, had thrown down legal gauntlets at President Trump for booting her, seemingly sans cause. Alas, instead of a bombshell verdict, Cobb, exhibiting the patience of a saint at a vicar’s tea party, chose to merely lend an ear to Cook’s barrister, Mr. Abbe Lowell, and the DOJ’s principal deputy chap, Yaakov Roth. The pair sparred for nigh on two hours, producing more legalese than a family reunion of lawyers, after which Cobb asked both barristers to jot down their cleverest arguments on parchment and deliver by next Tuesday. Procrastination: a tradition as old as British rain.
Lowell’s gambit was simple: secure a temporary restraining order to keep Cook perched atop her Fed throne while the legal opera continued its slow crescendo. Roth, meanwhile, argued with a confidence reserved for fresh graduates and fortune-tellers, insisting Trump not only had reason enough to boot Cook, but the court itself ought not to meddle with presidential whimsy.
Judge Cobb, refusing to take the bait like a vegetarian at a steakhouse, was left unconvinced by the rhetorical gymnastics. She requested more written reasoning-an activity sure to keep both men occupied and out of trouble. “And what pray tell if said cause is visibly no more genuine than a three-pound note?” Cobb quizzed Roth, when he suggested presidential decisions ought remain unperturbed by judicial review. Cobb then turned to Lowell, arching an eyebrow at his “fraud as pretext” spiel: “Pretexts, my dear sir, make me nervous.”
Lowell, not one for understatement, huffed: “Cause there never was, only a presidential itch to reshuffle governors like cards at a West End game. This is merely the latest performance in the classic ‘out with the old, in with the handpicked.’”
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2025-08-30 09:57