It is a truth universally acknowledged that a gentleman in possession of a fortune must be in want of a means to flaunt it-and Mr. Pavel Durov, the illustrious founder of Telegram, has found his in the most fashionable of assets: Bitcoin. 🎩💎
“I confess, I was an early admirer of Bitcoin,” declared Mr. Durov, with the air of a man who has long since ceased to care for the opinions of lesser mortals. “In the year 2013, I acquired my first few thousand coins-though, at the time, I regarded the matter with the utmost indifference.”
He further admitted, with the nonchalance of one who tosses crumbs to pigeons, that he had purchased at what he termed the “local maximum”-somewhere near $700 per coin-and had, with a flourish, “thrown a couple of million there.”
When the price subsequently plummeted below $200, and certain uncharitable souls dared to mock his misfortune, he merely raised an eyebrow and pronounced, “I do not care.”
“I have no intention of parting with my Bitcoin,” he proclaimed. “It is, in my estimation, the very model of what money ought to be. No government may seize it, nor censor its use for petty political reasons.”
Bitcoin: The Gentleman’s Life Preserver 🏊♂️💼
Mr. Durov revealed, with the faintest trace of amusement, that his Bitcoin investments have furnished him with the means to indulge in a lifestyle most would deem extravagant. “There are those who suppose my ability to lease fine properties or travel by private jet must derive from some clandestine extraction of funds from Telegram,” he remarked. “How quaint.”
“As I have stated before, Telegram is, for me, a most unprofitable enterprise. It is Bitcoin alone that has kept me from sinking into financial obscurity.”
With the confidence of a man who has already won the game, he predicted that Bitcoin shall one day ascend to the lofty heights of $1 million-a valuation he attributes to the reckless profligacy of governments who print money “as though there were no tomorrow.”
“Bitcoin, however, suffers no such inflationary whims,” he noted. “Its supply is finite, its inflation predictable. Unlike fiat currencies, whose futures remain uncertain, Bitcoin is assuredly here to stay.”
A Brief Discourse on TON (Or, How Regulations Spoilt the Party) 🎭⚖️
Mr. Durov-whose recent sojourn in France was, alas, not entirely voluntary-also deigned to discuss the Telegram Open Network, a most ambitious project intended to furnish his messenger service with its own blockchain.
“Bitcoin and Ether,” he lamented, “were found wanting in scalability-hardly suited to the demands of my hundreds of millions of users.”
The solution, he explained, lay in “shardchains,” a marvel of engineering that promised inherent scalability. Yet, despite its successful development, the project was thwarted by the meddlesome regulations of the United States. How vexing!
Nevertheless, The Open Network-as it is now known-has flourished within Telegram’s ecosystem, particularly in the realm of NFTs, where it has achieved a prominence most enviable.
“TON has risen, I daresay, to become either the foremost or second-most considerable blockchain in terms of daily NFT trading volumes.”
Alas, Toncoin (TON), the network’s native token, has suffered a decline of more than 67% from its peak of $8.25 in mid-2024. A misfortune, to be sure-but then, what is fortune if not fickle? 🤷♂️📉
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2025-10-01 06:59