According to Gerry Turner, the first Golden Bachelor, Theresa Nist wasn’t on the show to simply make friends or look for another relationship. She was there for a specific purpose.
As he explained in his new memoir, Golden Years: What I’ve Learned from Love, Loss, and Reality TV, the 72-year-old man who works in finance was completely determined to receive the final rose.
After his three-month marriage ended, largely because his wife decided to continue working instead of retiring as planned, Gerry began to question whether she had originally agreed to appear on the show aimed at people over 60 for genuine reasons.
He wondered why sheâd signed up for something that demanded so much trust if she was going to be unwilling to compromise later on. He was thinking about Theresaâs eagerness to continue her career, and what seemed like her mixed feelings about staying with him in Indiana. He questioned her motives: was she hoping to find a long-term partner, seeking a brief moment in the spotlight, or, like some of the other women on the show suggested, simply trying to win him over as a prize?
After the 74-year-old announced he was splitting up with Theresa, some of the other contestants jokingly asked if they could have a turn with him.
In his book, Gerry mentioned a surprising detail shared by several women. While staying at the mansion, Theresa was reading a book called How to Win The Bachelor, which claims to reveal ‘The Secret to Finding Love and Fame on America’s Favorite Reality Show.’
After his wife, Toni, passed away in 2017 following 43 years together, he was deeply affected by a particular image from the show. Seeing Theresa curled up on the couch, seemingly focused only on winning a rose, disturbed him. It led him to believe that her motivation wasnât to find love, but simply to win the competition.
Learning that truth made Gerry doubt everything he thought he knew, especially as he was quickly falling in love with the woman from New Jersey.
And he apparently wasn’t the only one second-guessing Theresa’s journey.Â
He reported that some of the other contestants were bothered because they believed Theresa unfairly prevented them from finding a relationship. Several people said that from the moment she arrived, Theresa tried to control the situation, leading the others to feel there was no point in even trying to connect with anyone else.
Things became even more complicated when she started gathering roses. The previous leader claimed she lied, specifically stating, ‘Gerry only dates small, dark-haired women,’ which isn’t true.
Gerry, reflecting honestly, told Francesca Amiker of TopMob News that it’s “definitely possible” Theresa was just telling him what he wanted to believe. He admitted, “I often felt that might have been happening.”
Finding love turned out to be much more eventful than he expected, but heâs happy with how things worked out.
Gerry, who is now engaged to retired teacher Lana Sutton, explained to TopMob that despite the difficulties he faced on the show, it ultimately led him to where he is today. He feels the experience, while challenging, was worthwhile and necessary for his personal growth.
Looking back on his brief relationship with Theresa, he admitted he wishes he’d recognized the warning signs sooner. Despite their efforts, though, the romance with the woman who received his final rose ultimately didn’t work out.
Gerry explained that he and Theresa, who had been married to Billy for 42 years before he passed away in 2014, were both people who took commitments seriously. They believed in following through on their promises and were determined to make things work, investing effort in getting to know each other and finding solutions. While ultimately they weren’t successful, Gerry emphasized that they genuinely tried.
He’s now hoping people will believe his account of what happened. “I just want to share my honest story,” he said.
Get ready to celebrate with a glass of champagne and some Journey, because we’re about to share the most exciting parts of his incredible story.
The loss of Gerry Turner’s high school sweetheart, Toniâand mother to his daughters Jenny Young and Angie Warnerâto a bacterial infection just weeks after they settled into their new lakefront home in 2017 was incredibly painful. But weeks after her death, Gerry discovered something even more heartbreaking: Toni had been diagnosed with Type 2 diabetes.
He explained in his 2025 memoir, Golden Years: What I’ve Learned From Love, Loss, and Reality TV, that he was overwhelmed with questions after Toniâs death. He wondered if her diabetes, if left unmanaged, had put a strain on her body, especially her kidneys. He questioned whether she might have lived longer if she hadnât dismissed her health concerns as unimportant, and if he had, in any way, encouraged that attitude. He also regretted that she hadn’t felt she could share her diagnosis with him.
Even though he couldn’t bring himself to stay in the Indiana house they’d shared, he put up a picture of his wife of 43 years in his new home’s closet. He explained, “That way, I see her beautiful photo every morning while I’m getting dressed.”
He disagreed with a 2023 article in The Hollywood Reporter that detailed his life after retirement, including relationships he hadn’t mentioned on The Golden Bachelor. He claimed he hadn’t dated in over forty years, but admitted in his book, “They did get one thing right: I met her while attending Toniâs funeral.”
He started dating and eventually moved in with a woman he felt a connection with, but admits he rushed into things. He hadnât been in a relationship since he was 18, and even if heâd been emotionally ready â which he wasnât â that should have signaled him to slow down. Instead, he did the opposite.
Joan Vassos, who was set to be the Golden Bachelorette, decided to leave the show because her daughter was having a difficult time after giving birth. Though Gerry understood her decision, he was deeply disappointed. He confessed that he really saw a future with her and felt heartbroken when she left.
Several months after their breakup, she sent him a copy of a beautiful coffee table book by photographer Annie Leibovitz â a book heâd mentioned he loved when they were together.
He admitted he still hoped to be part of her life. Visiting her while she was giving out roses, he felt a mix of emotions. “I was glad Joan seemed happy with how things were going,” he wrote, “but I also felt a pang of sadness, realizing a part of me would always care for her.”
Gerry found it especially difficult to eliminate Ellen Goltzer. Before meeting families, he knew keeping Faith Martin and Leslie Fhima was an easy decision, but deciding between Ellen and the woman he would eventually marry, Theresa Nist, was incredibly hard.
He described both candidates as likeable and optimistic, and didn’t see any immediate concerns with either of them. He thought either one could make a great partner. Feeling exhausted and pressed for time, he knew it was time for Ellen to move on.
He said he ended things with her because he just didnât feel a romantic connection. While he wasnât completely certain if Theresa was the right person for him, he was even more sure that Ellen wasnât a match.
Gerry wrote that he only felt excited about Leslie, who would eventually finish as the runner-up. However, he sometimes worried that the former lover of a famous Prince lived a life that was too wild and fast-paced.
He couldn’t decide between Leslie and Theresa, and started to worry that the fitness instructor’s past two divorces suggested they simply had different ideas about what commitment meant, which would likely cause problems in the future.
Looking back, he realized his previous concerns about Leslie’s lack of commitment were misplaced. He now understands it wasn’t about Leslie being uncommitted, but rather a reflection of his own insecurity, comparing it to Theresaâs strong devotion to her late husband which seemed like a warning sign at the time.
He didn’t intend to hurt her feelings, and he regrets telling both Leslie and Faith he loved them while they were back in their hometowns.
He explained that he truly meant what heâd told Leslie and Faith. But looking back, he realized that real love means giving yourself entirely to one person, and only that person. He felt he hadn’t done that with either Faith or Leslie, and that regret still weighs on him.
After host Jesse Palmer invited them to spend a night in the fantasy suites, Gerry realized how he felt about Theresa. They talked about their future together, including her plans to retire, and Gerry realized he was in love. He said he knew she was the one he wanted to spend the rest of his life with.
But his decision to offer the final rose to the New Jersey resident was certainly a thorny one.Â
In his memoir, he explained that while Theresa initially seemed like the best choice based on logic, his feelings led him to also seriously consider Leslie. He found himself torn between the two women, constantly weighing the comfort of the familiar with Theresa against the thrilling, but uncertain, possibility of a relationship with Leslie. He described it as a struggle between playing it safe and taking a risk.
Gerry and Theresa celebrated their engagement in Costa Rica with a special meal delivered to their room. The feast reminded Gerry that Theresa possessed all the qualities he’d hoped for in a partner â she was cheerful, thoughtful, and kind.
Once they were apart, though, they found it hard to connect. He admitted their nightly conversations were strained, explaining that her voice and manner didn’t change whether she was discussing serious work issues or something as simple as getting breakfast.
Their secret trip to New York City didn’t immediately spark romance. Gerry quickly discovered Theresa was very health-conscious, sticking to a diet with no sugar, which wasn’t really his preference when she handled the grocery shopping for their getaway.
Honestly, it was just fish and salad, that’s all she ever ate! I was trying to understand what she ate to get her energy, you know, trying to figure out her secrets, and she just looked at me and said, ‘I never eat anything like that.’ It was⊠shocking, honestly. Like, what did she live on?
Gerry readily admitted he wasn’t a follower of the Kardashians. After the show, he was invited to Kris Jenner’s home for dinner, and he wasn’t worried at all. In fact, he confessed he knew next to nothing about the family. While being driven to dinner, he innocently suggested to a member of the production team that the Kardashians might be benefiting from their show’s success. The driver was clearly shocked by the comment, staring at Gerry as if he’d said something outrageous.
Throughout the night, he spoke with Kendall Jenner’s boyfriend, Bad Bunny, and even had a conversation with Kris Jenner about hearing aids. However, he denied Kendall’s accusation that he was flirting with her mother, stating, “That’s not true. I was just caught up in her energy.”
Like the saying goes, every relationship has its challenges, but Gerry’s with Theresa was particularly difficult. A major issue was Theresa telling Gerry she was ready to retire during a private date, only to later say she needed another year to save for retirement. Gerry felt misled, writing, “I was upset because her financial situation wasn’t what she’d portrayed on the show,” and it made him question everything else she’d told him.
He became annoyed by her daily $12 smoothies and her lack of cooking, estimating she ate out or got takeout for four or five dinners each week.
He didn’t feel settled in New Jersey, and she disliked the rural lifestyle in Indiana (“I just couldn’t live here â it’s too isolated,” she reportedly told him). They’d planned to move to South Carolina together, but he said she turned down every house he found in the $800,000 to $1.25 million price range, and instead wanted properties costing over $4 million.
Despite Gerry starting to have serious doubts about Theresa as their wedding approached (“As it got closer and closer to our wedding date, my doubts about Theresa grew”), they went ahead with the televised ceremony in January 2024.
Gerry, having seen how complicated divorces can be, knew a prenuptial agreement was essential. He sent the document to Theresa right away, but grew anxious as she didn’t sign it immediately. He worried she was deliberately delaying to avoid signing. Though she eventually did sign, the wait gave Gerry serious doubts about rushing into marriage â he confessed he wished they’d dated longer before making such a big commitment.
He knew there was nothing he could do to prevent the wedding, especially without embarrassing himself or Theresa. His only option was to accept the situation, stay silent, and proceed with the marriage, determined to do everything he could to make it work.
Gerry’s feet were still cold when he talked to Faith, the woman who received his first impression rose, at the rehearsal dinner.
I told her everything, explaining how I felt. ‘This wedding is a mistake,’ I said. ‘I wish I could stop it, but I feel stuck â like I have no choice.’ Faith then pointed at my chest and asked, ‘Why are you doing this if you know itâs wrong? Thatâs not like you at all.’
Despite knowing he shouldn’t, he went through with the wedding. He explained that a lifelong habit of trying to please others was too powerful to overcome. He felt obligated to everyone involved â his daughters, Theresaâs family, the wedding guests who had traveled, and the team who worked so hard to create a special day. Above all, he didnât want to disappoint Theresa, even though he had concerns about how quickly their relationship was moving.
Though if you ask her, she’d rather have been a jilted bride than a divorcĂ©e.Â
She told Us Weekly that it was heartbreaking to learn he felt so hopeless and stuck. She wished heâd reached out for help instead of suffering in silence.
After Gerry and Theresa got married, it quickly became clear she wasn’t interested in continuing a romantic connection, even privately. When Gerry visited her at home in New Jersey just a week after the wedding, he said he felt like an unwelcome guest, as if he didn’t belong there.
She asked him to sleep on the sofa because she had a busy workday ahead, and thatâs when the strange feeling intensified. He explained that while he said, âYeah, no problem,â he was actually confused, thinking, âWhy would she ask me that? Weâre married!â
He stayed on the couch for three nights and drove back to Indiana a day sooner than planned. Gerry observed that Theresa seemed like a different person compared to when they were in Costa Rica. While she had been comfortable and even initiated intimacy at the resort, she completely avoided it when they returned home.
Gerry and his wife met in Los Angeles after the finale of Joey Graziadeiâs season in March 2024 to discuss their relationship. They both admitted theyâd rushed into marriage and decided to separate.
Gerry explained that after a difficult period of long-distance communication filled with stressful phone calls, their latest conversation was surprisingly easygoing. He said they finally felt able to speak openly and honestly with each other, having overcome their final obstacle.
Even though Gerry’s daughters understood why he was getting a divorce, he still found it difficult. He admitted he felt like he’d let people down, explaining that he hadn’t accurately assessed the situation and had hurried into a marriage he wasn’t sure about. He was stuck in a cycle of negative thoughts, feeling like he’d failed repeatedly, and was deeply unhappy.
Looking at news reports about their breakup only made things worse. Gerry felt that while he chose not to publicly address the rumors, Theresa could have clarified some of the false information. He believed she could have easily said he was financially secure and that they had separated on good terms.
He admitted to feeling completely overwhelmed, to the point where he didn’t want to face the day. One night, lying awake, he confessed everything felt unbearable and he briefly considered ending his life. But then he thought of his daughters, Jenny and Angie, and knew he couldn’t put them through that pain. He clarified he didn’t actually want to die, but rather to escape his suffering. He was accustomed to pushing through difficult times, believing the pain would eventually subside, but this felt different â endless and inescapable.
Just two weeks after filing for divorce, Gerry called his wife to talk. He hadnât been diagnosed with cancer yet â it was a slow-growing type called Waldenström’s macroglobulinemia â but he wanted to update her about what he was going through with his health.
He said he couldn’t recall what she said during the call, noting that Theresa was mostly silent. He did remember, however, that she never followed up to check on him or find out what had happened.
However, Gerry shared that he still hears from former co-stars Susan Noles and Kathy Swarts frequently. He and Theresa, on the other hand, have completely stopped communicating. “We donât talk anymore,” Gerry explained, “thereâs just no reason to.”
Gerry was left questioning Theresa’s motivations for being on The Golden Bachelor. He shared that the support of the other women on the show actually helped him through a difficult time. Now engaged to Lana Sutton, Gerry explained that many of the women understood what had happened at the mansion and felt similarly betrayed, which is why they were so vocal about it.
What really made him question Theresa’s intentions was the rumor that she was spotted at the mansion with a copy of the book How to Win The Bachelor, suggesting she wasn’t there just to make friends.
Gerry wrote that seeing Theresa huddled on the couch, carefully planning how to get a rose, really bothered him. It made him realize she didn’t seem interested in finding true love, only in winning the competition.
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2025-11-04 17:52