I wrote Conversations from a Long Marriage and this is how Joanna Lumley and Roger Allam moved me to tears

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I’ll never forget walking into the recording studio on December 1st, 2017, with the script for the first episode of my radio show, Conversations from a Long Marriage. I was incredibly nervous to finally meet Joanna Lumley and Roger Allam, as I’d written the script specifically for them. Joanna immediately put me at ease, playfully saying, “You’ve been listening at my window, Jan.” It was a wonderful compliment, and I couldn’t stop smiling throughout the entire recording session.

My husband, Gavin Petrie, and I started writing comedy together in 1987, and we actually won a script competition called TopMob Sounds Funny! We worked as a writing team for three decades. Eventually, I had an idea for a story about a couple deeply in love – with each other, wine, music, and life – after many years of marriage. I noticed Gavin’s passion and creativity were starting to decline, which turned out to be an early sign of Alzheimer’s. He was incredibly supportive and told me to write it myself, saying he thought it would be wonderful.

Gavin passed away last November, right when I was working on the seventh season of Countryfile Animal Lives and Me (it’s become known by the initials CFALM!). I was deeply saddened for weeks, and it wasn’t until a kind note from producer Claire Jones reminded me about a recording date in January that I started to move forward.

I returned to my desk, finding writing to be a really helpful way to process my thoughts. I can almost hear Joanna and Roger talking as I write, and I think this seventh series might be the best one yet. Roger summed it up perfectly: “It’s full of passion, humor, and a few emotional moments – truly captivating.”

I once said I created Conversations from a Long Marriage because I was frustrated with how older women were usually depicted. But when Emma Freud messaged me, sympathizing about losing my wonderful character, Gavin/Roger, it hit me: everyone else already knew the truth. This show has always been, at its heart, a tribute to my love for Gavin.

Nearly ten years later, on January 27, 2026, I returned to the same studio to begin recording the seventh series, feeling anxious about managing. Joanna and Roger were incredibly supportive with kind cards and messages, but being surrounded by the familiar warmth and affection of the CFALM team – their comforting presence – brought tears to my eyes, and I wasn’t the only one.

The radio program “Conversations from a Long Marriage” is back on BBC Radio 4 and BBC Sounds starting Monday, May 4th at 2:15pm. You can also find previous episodes on BBC Sounds.

Authors

Jan Etherington

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2026-04-29 10:34