Iran’s Crypto Miners Are Basically the World’s Most Secretive Goldfish

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So, apparently Iran’s crypto mining scene is basically a giant game of hide-and-seek – but instead of friends, it’s government inspectors, and instead of fun, it’s illegal mining operations hiding in every corner. Over 95% of 427,000 devices are operating under the radar, because who doesn’t love a little illegal tech thrill? 🎉

Akbar Hasan Beklou, CEO of the Tehran Electricity guys (the real MVPs), dropped the truth bomb that Iran is now the world’s fourth-largest crypto hub – all thanks to subsidized electricity, making it the ultimate e-miners’ paradise. Think of it as a constantly running, power-hungry rave – minus the music, plus a lot of sneaky underground farms.

These covert mining operations are sucking down over 1,400 megawatts – enough to power almost 10,000 homes – which is basically like trying to run a small country on a single smartphone. Most of these clever criminals are disguising themselves as industrial complexes because, apparently, the government’s cheap power deals are just that tempting.

Iran Slaps Down 104 Illegal Crypto Farms – Like a Boss

The authorities decided to play whack-a-mole with these underground farms, shutting down 104 of them in Tehran Province alone. They seized 1,465 machines, which are basically the crypto version of a really expensive coffee maker – but instead of caffeine, it’s calculations. This loot is enough to power nearly 10,000 households, proving that illegal miners are basically electricity vampires.

Hotspots like Pakdasht, Malard, Shahre Qods, and some secret underground tunnels (because why not?) are the main targets now. Inspectors are teaming up with law enforcement to turn these clandestine operations into history – like that time you tried to hide snacks from your roommate.

The government’s also trying a new tactic – offering cold, hard cash for info. Apparently, citizens who squeal get 1 million toman (~$24) per device snitched out. That’s basically a tip line for crypto snitches, because who doesn’t love a little bounty hunting?

And just in case you were wondering, Iran is fifth globally in Bitcoin power. So, while the USA is busy gobbling up 44%, Iran’s quietly powering a tiny army of miners – probably laughing maniacally in their underground tunnels.

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2025-11-02 13:18