Tether’s $1.04B Profit: Gold, Bitcoin, and Treasury Hoarding – Oh My!

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Finance

What to know (or how Tether is basically a dragon hoarding gold, Bitcoin, and Treasuries):

  • Tether made a cool $1.04 billion in Q1 because apparently printing digital money is easier than printing actual money. Who knew?
  • Their excess reserves hit $8.23 billion, which is just sitting there, probably in a digital piggy bank labeled “Do Not Touch – Unless It’s for More Gold.”
  • They’ve got $20 billion in physical gold and $7 billion in Bitcoin. Because why not hedge your bets with both shiny rocks and internet money?

So, Tether, the stablecoin giant, is basically the Beyoncé of crypto – making billions while the rest of us are just trying to pay rent. Their Q1 profit was $1.04 billion, and their excess reserves are now $8.23 billion. That’s a lot of zeroes, folks. And no, they didn’t share last year’s numbers. Probably because they’re too busy counting their $10 billion from 2025. Casual.

Meanwhile, USDT is still pegged to the dollar, with $183 billion in liabilities. But don’t worry, they’ve got $192 billion in assets. It’s like they’re playing Monopoly and just bought all the properties while the rest of us are stuck on Baltic Avenue.

Stablecoins are apparently the new hotness, thanks to international payments. Even Visa is like, “Yeah, we’re into that now.” Nine blockchains? Cool, Visa. Overachiever.

Tether’s reserves are mostly in U.S. Treasuries, because nothing says “I’m serious” like hoarding government-backed instruments. They’re the 17th-largest holder globally, which is impressive. They’ve out-hoarded Taiwan, Israel, and the UAE. Go big or go home, right?

And let’s not forget the $20 billion in gold and $7 billion in Bitcoin. Because if the financial system collapses, at least they’ll have something shiny and some internet coins to barter with. Smart.

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2026-05-01 19:25