Cloudflare’s AI Coin: The Future of Money? 💸🤖

Finance

What to know:

  • Behold, the marvels of this new era: a dollar-backed stablecoin, a token to fuel the “agentic web” where AI, like a restless spirit, performs tasks once done by humans. 🤖💸
  • Cloudflare, that modern-day Prometheus, has forged a new coin from the fires of Silicon Valley’s ambition. The “agentic web” now thrives on microtransactions, as if the internet itself is a beggar craving pennies. 🚀
  • CEO Matthew Prince, the modern-day prophet of the internet, declared that these transactions could supplant ads and bank transfers, the very lifeblood of the web’s current economy. “Pay-per-use, fractional payments-ah, the sweet scent of progress!” he proclaimed, while the masses groan. 📢

U.S.-listed cloud company Cloudflare (NET), that paragon of innovation, announced plans to intorduve a U.S. dollar stablecoin for what it calls the “agentic web,” where autonomous AI agents perform tasks like booking flights or ordering groceries. A world where digital serfs scurry to serve their silicon overlords. 🤖🛒

The company said on Thursday that the token, dubbed NET Dollar, will enable instant and secure transactions for software agents, developers and creators. Cloudflare framed the initiative as a shift away from the ad-driven economics that have defined the internet for decades-though one wonders if the ads are merely hiding in the shadows, waiting to strike again. 🕵️‍♂️

“The Internet’s next business model will be powered by pay-per-use, fractional payments, and microtransactions-tools that shift incentives toward original, creative content that actually adds value,” Matthew Prince, co-founder and CEO of Cloudflare, said in a statement. “Or, as the proletariat might say, ‘More exploitation, less fluff!'” 📜

“By using our global network, we are going to help modernize the financial rails needed to move money at the speed of the Internet, helping to create a more open and valuable Internet for everyone,” he added. “Or, as the skeptics whisper, ‘More control, less freedom!'” 🧠

The firm said itis also contributing to standards such as the Agent Payments Protocol and x402, which aim to make sending and receiving payments online simpler. A noble goal, if one ignores the fact that simplicity is often the first casualty of technological “progress.” 🛠️

With the move, Cloudflare aims to join a roster of fintechs and payments firms that ventured into the red-hot stablecoin trend that’s shaking up cross-border payments. These cryptocurrencies, with prices tied to fait money like the U.S. dollar, offer a cheaper, faster alternative to traditional payment rails using blockchains for settlement. A digital gold rush, if you will, where the only thing more volatile than the coins is the enthusiasm of the investors. 🏦💥

It’s potentially a huge market: stablecoin transaction volumes could reach $1 trillion by 2030, driven by institutional adoption, FX settlement and cross-border flows, trading firm Keyrock projected in a report. A figure as grand as a Soviet five-year plan, yet perhaps as fleeting as a mirage in the desert of tech hype. 🌵

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2025-09-25 18:50