The U.S. Government Finally Switched Off Its Cryogenic Sleep & Bitcoin Might Skyrocket to $112K! 🚀

This political soap opera was quite the spectacle-losses of nearly $85 billion, government workers moonlighting as unpaid superheroes, and a pantomime of halted reports that no one could read. But fear not! The long, icy grip is thawing, and the money hoses may soon gush again-salaries on Friday, folks! Time to dust off those statistics reports and pretend we’re all economists again. 📊

Pi Network: The Dual-Token Drama Unfolds! 🐲💥

Pi’s creators whispered sweet nothings about “one coin, one community,” but chaos erupted faster than a birthday surprise for a grumpy frog. Whispers of a “GCV Handbook” now claim 1 Pi equals $314k (because who needs math, right?). And get this: two Pi coins? One for exchanges, one for GCV transactions? That’s like saying you need two potatoes for a recipe-one fried, one mashed! 🥔🥔